Let’s get right to it, shall we?
DISHONORABLE MENTION
This film is one good Coen brothers gag (in this case, the hiding the box of unsold albums in the apartment only to discover the resident’s own box of unsold albums) away from the bottom 10. Llewyn Davis is the most loathsome hero of the cinematic year and making us care about him is torture.
It’s a crying shame this Die Hard franchise elegy didn’t come with the awful right-wing paranoia from the previous (and very good) Live Free or Die Hard; it could have been bottom 5 bad.
Another Bruce Willis, another action shoot-‘em up sequel. Another real bad film.
Thankfully, Rob Zombie is not married to Bruce Willis. That would have made an awkward, but probably superior horror 
film.
If you found any value in this modern day Godzilla reimagining, you were mistaken.
Nice of Topher Grace to find his way to a movie theater near me. Now, he can go back to wherever he was hiding.
Tools were all present for one of the worst of the year: Ethan Hawke — professional driver, Selena Gomez – carjacker, the Hazard County Bulgarian division out to capture them. 90% of all shots are in the car. Unfortunately, the film was undermined by a paltry 90-minute run-time. Just ten more minutes of boring, and I swear the bottom 10 was there for the 
taking.
Just read about them next time.
Congrats, Plush! You’re the winner of the Dishonorable lottery. I was all prepared to give you the #10 slot until Gimme Shelter came along
THE BOTTOM 10
Mars Needs Moms, Planet 51, Delgo … why is so difficult to make animated space travel films that don’t suck?
To be followed by The Last Exorcism Part III: I’m Totally Serious This Time, I Mean This Is It, People, NO More Exorcisms. I’m Pretty Sure.
8. You’re Next
No, I’m not.
Vanessa Hudgens reminds us how painful life is without Zac Efron around. But it’s ok; didn’t you know? Every teen mother makes the world a better place. Thank you, Pro-Life saviors!
Edging out Gimme Shelter for worst Christian message movie of the year (excluding Tyler Perry films) is Ultimate Life, a film in which a self-centered douche turns a rough childhood into a life of getting everything he wants … and what he wants now is that his spoiled douche children not be like him.
5. Bad found footage parody: A Haunted House & Scary MoVie
Far as I can tell, the only thing worse than the found footage film genre is the parodies of found footage film genre.
4. Grown Ups 2
I’m trying to imagine the minds that gave a good hard look at Grown Ups and made the conscious decision a sequel was necessary. I cannot do it. There’s a level of Hell in which Adam Sandler films play 24/7.
Sometimes I just want to cry. I watched Identity Thief thinking, knowing, KNOWING: “this is the worst film of the year. It’s just awful any way you look at it.” Discovering by compilation time it doesn’t belong in pole position is like discovering there’s benchmark for sloth lower than … a sloth.
Some of the “Worst” films would just be so much better if you could combine them. An Adam Sandler “comedy” with a chainsaw murdering psycho? Bring it on.
1. Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor & Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas
Part of me is really impressed with Tyler Perry – do you know how hard this man works to bring you crap? He’s a tireless throwback to mountain-moving men of ages past, constantly creating the worst, most forgettable art known to man, completely unconvinced that his tremendous efforts lack any merit whatsoever. That said – the second remarkable thing about Tyler’s work is either of these movies could have vied for worst film of the year; they’re both really, really bad – although I’d tip to Temptation because the symbolism and message of indulgence justly punished by pariahdom and AIDS contraction in it is incredible hateful. Of course, the most incredible thing about this #1 runaway choice? Neither of these films is Tyler’s worst. Madea Christmas wouldn’t even merit bottom five among films he’s directed.
You’ll note that neither Lone Ranger nor After Earth made the worst list, but if you wish to pretend they did, I don’t have a problem with that.
I’ve only seen 3 of these. I need to get to get busy. Time to rework my netflix queue.