It just occurred to me that the title ‘Hot Pursuit’ was meant to echo ‘The Heat,’ 2014’s galpal cop romp. Duh. Believe me, I hit the Pursuit-is-sadly-derivative point well before this moment; this just confirms it. Yes, unable to extract Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy from their current obligations, studio producers here decided to make, essentially, the same formula with one straight-laced serious actress (Reese Witherspoon) and one oddly distinctive comic actress (Sofía Vergara). It was hence fitting that Hot Pursuit has a literal deer-in-the-headlights scene as the film offered little more than a frozen open-jawed gawking opportunity for passers-by.
Witherspoon and Vergara are dressed as the deer, in case you were wondering, with the former “making deer noises” for comic effect. There’s liberal use of the word “comic” in this film. I laughed once. It’s nice to laugh. Considering, however, I laughed more for the film that preceded this one — Maggie, a somber post-apocalyptic zombie drama – hmmm, well, ‘nuff said.
It took 10 seconds of screen time for Reese Witherspoon to overact. Ten seconds. Yeah, this isn’t the role that’s gonna get you another Oscar nomination, is it? The curiously sedate Sofía Vergara waited until her second scene to show that she didn’t have much faith in the material, which seems, relatively speaking, a little incredible, no? I got there long before she did. Vergara, who sells sex the way Keebler Elves sell cookies, failed in every scene but one to remind us that the cost of her Latino shrieking is compensated by poster-girl features. What were you two thinking?
The basic premise is Cooper (Witherspoon) is a lifelong cop. The opening montage shows a child growing up in the back seat of a patrol car. It’s kinda cute, if cliché (as emphasized by the prom date talking himself down to an eight p.m. return time, ho ho). From this we get that Cooper (Witherspoon) is a born cop, a stickler for procedure and a street-smart badass, right? Actually, this translates to Cooper is the worst cop I’ve ever seen, fiction or otherwise. She does know procedure, but doesn’t have a good idea of how to apply it. She also apparently became a cop without being able to pass a physical, take down a bad guy, recognize danger, properly back-up a partner, or hold on to her gun for more than five seconds. She even had trouble recognizing a longhorn tattoo, an automatic DQ from Texan status, no? All of her faults are played for comic effect which is great if you find them believable or funny.
After spending police purgatory as an evidence jockey, Cooper is allowed back in the field to escort the wife of a key mob witness (Vergara). The house is attacked and in
the shady aftermath, the pair of women are both implicated in the murder of Cooper’s partner, forcing both into hiding thus introducing a premise I cannot get enough of – the odd couple on the lam.
Taken at face value, Hot Pursuit happily sets back the women’s movement about 40 years. Cooper looks like she was added to the force because of some sort of lottery system. Daniella (Vergara) has her own plan – it’s poorly considered, ill-timed and, if executed, 100% guaranteed to get herself executed, but hey, it’s a plan. And part of it involved never saying or doing anything that a brain-using human would do.
Neither of the two shows an ounce of comic timing or chemistry here. As usual, as ever, all of this is forgivable if it’s funny. Is Witherspoon in a fake deer costume funny? Is Vergara constantly at odds with her diminutive partner funny? Is her calling out Witherspoon’s “grannie panties” funny? I guarantee this lowest common denominator stuff will generate some laughs. Call me “elitist,” I don’t mind; but I found this material was neither Hot, nor a Pursuit.
A bad cop adventure, ain’t that neat?
With two actresses I used to find sweet
Standard deviation?
No, pre-meditation
Turns out, you can’t beat The Heat
Rated PG-13, 87 Minutes
D: Anne Fletcher
W: David Feeney, John Quaintance
Genre: Bad cops and really bad cop
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Steve Martin’s Pink Panther crowd
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Feminists
