To be honest, I hate to rip in to Unfriended as, unlike most horror films, this one has a great deal to offer. There’s an anti-bullying angle. There’s an anti-sexting angle. There are stationary cameras, several of them. There’s a responsibility angle. There’s an accountability angle. There’s a “what makes a friend?” angle. And, most importantly, there’s a keeping-your-private-idiocies-private angle.
So, it pains me to dislike this film. But, whatchagonnado? Birds gotta fly. Crab’s gotta scuttle. Frog’s got hop.
Five teens are cyberchatting on the anniversary of a suicide; the suicide of a mutual … friend? Enemy? Frenemy? Dunno exactly. Blaire (Shelley Hennig) is our initial focus; she was checking out the year-old suicide videos when her boyfriend Mitch (Moses Storm) breaks in with a cyberbooty request. Oh good, I was worried they weren’t taking the teen theme seriously. Just when the rating might kick in, conference call! It’s my best buds for a … five-way?! Ah, but there’s an anonymous sixth caller, who can’t be abandoned. Oh, did I mention this film is told entirely in window-chat form? Interesting, if limited, perspective.
The writing and direction are just a tad too amateur here. The anonymous party seems to be the dead girl, Laura. This is supported by coincidental Laura posts on her FB page. You’d think there wouldn’t be much to say. i.e. “Status update: still dead, woo!” The direction doesn’t make it clear whether or not the quintet believes or disbelieves it’s Laura. Also, Levan Gavriadze missed a golden opportunity to highlight the fact that ghost Laura (for lack of better viewer identification) can see everything, including what you type before you decide whether or not to post. That could have made for some spooky intuition. There also should have been more intro – show us the kids; show us what they like to do on-line. Show us what they would be doing if they weren’t being taunted by a dead girl.
Eventually death comes, of course. This is a teen horror film after all. Hard to tell if the rules are arbitrary; I mean kids get plugged for disobeying the ghost instruction, but you get the feeling the anonymous sixth probably isn’t gonna finish until their chat room is permanently closed.
I was also confused by the sudden death “I never” game. The ghost i
ssues the questions full-well knowing the answers with a plan to kill the loser. Well, gee, this game of secrets and lies is pretty arbitrary then, isn’t it? I mean, if you ask the questions and you know the individuals and specific answers and promise death to the “Loser” (the one with the most hits), then this is kinda just psychological torture, no?
The death scenes are a mixed bag. “Laura” seems to be everywhere and control everything, which is suitably creepy, but unfair – there have to be rules, right? And the scenes of death are exactly that … a body lying on the floor (we think), a half-second of a kid with his hand stuck in a blender (we think). It’s like Levan decided to show us what it looks like when you hide your eyes from the screen. Um, gee, thanks for the consideration, but I can decide for myself when to look and when not to.
For all the good lessons about true friendship and bullying and cyber-safety, at the end of the day, Unfriended is a horror film that isn’t terribly scary. Unfriended changed its original title name from Cybernatural. How could that possibly make a difference? I’m seriously puzzled here. Now where was that youtube suicide I was checking out?
A ghost returns to haunt a set
Of teens who owe her a debt
This spider’s surprise
Torturing flies
Who all get caught in her Net
Rated R, 83 Minutes
D: Levan Gavriadze
W: Nelson Greaves
Genre: The perils of social media
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Trolls
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Selfie hounds
