Caution: puppy murder. Seems cheesy in retrospect, doesn’t it? How do you define evil, true evil? Puppy murder has got to be right up there. Want to make a villain? A guy we’ll really, really hate? Have him murder a puppy. Not just The Drop a puppy. Murder.
John Wick revives our collective fondness for Keanu Reeves. I don’t think he smiles any longer; maybe that’s what made us like him again. John Wick is a remnant of a past age. We’re back to Russian villains, vigilantism, hand-to-hand and bullets. All unshaven, too. No time to look pretty; I need to kill.
We really are back to Russian villains, huh? John Wick, The Equalizer and Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit have all happily encouraged us to hate mother Russia anew … and all of her evil denizens and former denizens. When we meet title bearer Wick (Reeves), he’s mourning a dead wife. There’s no mention of a dead career, but I’m sure that’s in there somewhere. A delivery person calls. Why here’s a puppy from your late wife. Enjoy! Oh yeah, that’s real cheap. And oh yeah, it’s real effective. Instant tears here.
Next day, he’s getting gas and punk Russian mobsters want to buy his ride. This is a surprisingly common movie issue, but I really and truly wonder – are 1969 Mustangs really so rare that you’d offer to buy from a guy you never met? Google “69 Mustang for sale” and you’ll get at least 50 listings. I guarantee it. But, of course, that isn’t how these movies work. Wick has to say, politely, “get lost” and Russian dude (Alfie Allen) has to force the issue in his native language. And Wick switches to Russian right back at him.
Hmmmm, how do I put this kindly? When you try to intimidate a person, any person, by speaking another language and that person responds, calmly, in that language – doesn’t matter if it’s Russian, Bantu or Pig Latin – DO NOT MESS with that person. This seems a pretty obvious course of action to me.
Next scene, guys break into Wick mansion, beat the owner, kill the dog, and steal the ride. This wakes the beast. John Wick, you see, used to be the world’s most effective killing machine. He gave all that up for marriage. Awwwww. Well, now he’s back, with a mini arsenal, a suitcase full of gold coins straight out of MarioWorld and a major league 
grudge. Good luck, assholes.
The film gave us the concept of a “Safe Hotel:” a place where assassins can chill without fear of one another. It’s like having a “home base” in tag – can’t get me here, I’m safe! Also it gave us the concept of a professional wet ops cleanup squad. You make a “reservation for 12,” and and a van filled with guys you’d meet at a dog track show up to take your bodies and scrub your place but good.
I’m sorry, but John Wick, people are breaking into your house every night of the week … what do you say to getting an alarm, maybe, huh?
Wick is pretty light on dialogue and personality and that’s exactly the way we want it. Don’t think about John Wick, professional mercenary/assassin. Think of John Wick, wronged mourning devoted spouse. Revenge goes down easier that way. There will almost certainly be a sequel involved; not sure how we can generate the same sympathy next time around. One way or another, there will be more pain.
His emotions are all but spent
When Russians re-awake his pent
John’s gotta kill
A void he must fill
This adventure? Not so excellent
Rated R, 101 Minutes
D: David Leitch, Chad Stahelski
W: Derek Kolstad
Genre: Vigilante, whoa
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who never lost their hatred of Russians
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Russians
