You can add zombies. You can add bloodshed, torture, sex, apocalypse, Bridget Jones and a carnival, and the problem I will continue to have with Jane Austen’s most notable work is that it takes too long to warm to Mr. Darcy. Apologies, here he’s “Colonel” Darcy (Sam Riley), and I’m quite sure he doesn’t smile in the film.
In the most innovative take on Jane Austen since Clueless, Burr Steers has given us Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in which the willful Elizabeth Bennet (Lily James) has to secure her future financial stability, her future soulful contentment and her future cranial integrity. You know the scene – the rural Bennet estate whose patriarch (Charles Dance) can’t legally will the property to any of the six women living there, hence the young women are forced to seek husbands. As if this fate weren’t bad enough, however, in this version, the zombie plague has arrived and half the eligible bachelors they encounter will only be interested in a dowry of braaaaaaaaaains.
Well, you know, regardless of time or place, men only want one thing. Am I right?
Luckily for Jane Bennet (Bella Heathcote), the handsome and eligible Mr. Bingley (Douglas Booth) doesn’t mind the knife in her bodice and the saber in her garters. I’m not-at-all embarrassed to say these weaponry reveals were flat-out sexy. I don’t necessarily need a woman who is heavily armed around me … but one so quick to show leg in defense of self? Rowr. I see it as the exquisite marriage of feminism and sexism in one. Of course, your thoughts may be different. Meanwhile, Elizabeth is busy alienating Darcy and failing superbly in the effort. For those who know the story, btw, the goofy Matt Smith makes my favorite Parson Collins of all time.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a pot luck of genres. You can like it for the period or the romance or the zombie killing, or loathe it for not being a fully realized version of any of these by
itself. I can’t say Sam Riley or Lily James did much for me romance-wise, but I loved the idea of Elizabeth not counting on a man to save her literally as well as figuratively – this Elizabeth is well skilled in Chinese martial arts and can take care of herself, thank you very much.
Did you ever feel there was something missing with this story? I know I sure did. Personally, I adore modern adaptations of classic tales. I can’t get enough of them, even when they blow. What do you say we get some more Jane Austen out there, huh? I think we need an X-Games version of Persuasion. Let’s give Emma a talk show … and a position in the C.I.A. How about Sense and Sensibility against the backdrop of the WNBA? Well, maybe not. But any time you’re interested in adapting an Austen work to a different world and stretching that PG-13 envelope, you’ve got my full attention.
My dearest Liz, I wish you well
Continued safety where you dwell
The undead masses you’ve given pain
You and Kit and sister Jane
Their ranks a growing stressing proof
Of fortune’s countenance aloof
On front lines our soldier treads
In vain to keep mind within heads
Fear not! For we shall win th’ day
Set fire to make flesh decay
And so grand wishes from afar
I send you now, HEY! WAIT! Arrrrrrrrrrrr*
Rated PG-13, 107 Minutes
D: Burr Steers (not an actual name, I’m guessing. This is clearly the name of an extra on the “Bonanza.”)
W: Burr Steers
Genre: Updated classics
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Fans of Jane Austen and “The Walking Dead”
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Purists
*Parody inspired by the poem “My Dearest Frank, I Wish You Joy” by Jane Austen
