Hmmm, are we seeking a low calorie alternative to entertainment? Tell me, is there a different rating on the salted and unsalted versions of this film? Wait. Wait. One more – is this film supposed to be seen at room temperature or does it get all gooey if it’s been left out all day?
Iowa is into Butter sculpture. This is true, not fabrication – this phenomenon that is, not the fictional tale shared here. Iowa is also true, not a fabribation, despite what you might have heard. There are several state fairs that have butter-sculpting competitions; I believe they’re mostly in the upper Midwest, the medium chosen as an homage to dairy farming – and if you google the subject, you’ll find, like I did, that the most notable butterings reflect exactly that. Shame you can’t get marble from a cow. Hmmm, on second thought, maybe it’s not such a shame.
Laura & Bob Pickler (Jennifer Garner & Ty Burrell) are royalty in a one-cow Iowa town. Bob’s Butter sculptures (his latest being a lifesize 3D recreation of DaVinci‘s “The Last Supper“) are genius and have won the fair’s competition fifteen years running. Laura, by contrast, is
the town bully, forever promoting her personal ultraconservative agenda ahead of all else. And while The Last Supper is on display at the fair, two things happen: 1) Bob is asked not to enter the contest again because, hey, it’s not fair. That’s totally un-American if you ask me – if I were there, I’d love to know who lobbied hardest for Bob to step off his throne, and why? 2) A charming migratory orphan, Destiny (Yara Shahidi), simply walks into the display and starts messin’ with The Holy Grail in the sculpture. What’s up with that? Turns out Destiny, child, is a natural; the Butter-carving world has never seen a prodigy quite like her. Is this, dare I ask … Destiny?
This is a comedy if you hadn’t figured it out by now; the documentary film of the Iowa state fair butter carving competition, if it exists, is probably a comedy, too. It’s a little difficult to take butter sculpting as an art form, but then again, it beats line dancing.
Livid about Bob’s forced resignation, Laura decides she’s now Mrs. Butterworth and enters the contest in his stead. Meanwhile, the stripper/hooker (a double threat!) that Bob is seeing, Brooke (Olivia Wilde), is starting to make house calls for the fees Bob owes her. Laura is personally so self-involved and aggressively Christian, she can only see Bob’s relationship from the perspective of her image; their marriage is 100% show.
This all sets up the big public Butter sculpting showdown among Laura, Destiny, Brooke and the town idiot (Kristen Schaal). They set up stands, too. “Get out your pennant, boy! Goooooo Butter!” Is this what happens when your local high school football team sucks? There
aren’t big laughs in this film, but are several little ones and some of you just might enjoy it for the cameo of Hugh Jackman as a cowboy tool.
It disturbs me, as it should you too, that Jennifer Garner has gone from the mockery of over-the-top religious self-righteous Godsquad to one of them in just five short years. Her Miracles from Heaven due in March is exactly the kind of film Butter openly ridicules. Sad, sad, Jennifer. Boo. Tis a slippery slope, Ms. Garner. Perhaps it has been greased with … something; I can’t imagine what.
♪Our state fair is a coup but-ter
Don’t melt it or you will miss art
No margarine-ality
Describes what you see
First love it, then spread on your tart♫
Rated R, 90 Minutes
D: Jim Field Smith
W: Jason A. Micallef
Genre: Craft war
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Midwestern state fair attendees
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Margarine lobbyists
♪ Parody inspired by “Driving at Night/Our State Fair”
