America, you might have picked the wrong year to decide women were second class citizens. Between Wonder Woman and Atomic Blonde, half the bad guys in Europe have been eliminated. Imagine what happens when they discover Trump enthusiasts. Go ahead; call her a “snowflake.” I freaking dare you. IMHO, the best part of these films is not that there is a powerful woman takin’ care o’ business, but that these are films in which somebody has to take care o’ business, and that somebody just happens to be a woman. It’s the difference between what’s convincing and what’s wishful thinking. Personally, I wouldn’t pick a fight with Charlize Theron for any amount of money.
MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton (Theron) gets made upon landing in Berlin. That’s messed up. You get made before you even start? We can instantly draw two conclusions: 1) there’s a traitor in your intelligence and 2) somebody really doesn’t want you to do your job. Thanks to the debriefing flashback, we know Lorraine survives, and thanks to her bizarrely sensual ice baths, we also know she’s in for quite a violent week. The week in question is the first of November, 1989. It will end in the dismantling of the Berlin Wall, which is relevant only in that the Cold War still exists when this Atomic Blonde finds Berlin.
So after being lepton by pre-Uber goons, Lorraine has to backtrack, figuring out who’s trying to kill her, where the MacGuffin is, and how fellow MI6 agent James McAvoy fits in. McAvoy here is far closer to his Filth role here than, say, his Wanted role – life is cheap within the sphere of agent David Percival (McAvoy). And who’s the woman (Sofia Boutella) who sucks at surveillance? What are her quarks? Look, lady, this isn’t that hard – she stands still, you take a photon and move on. She moves, you stick to her like gluon, but from a distance, dig? Relationships are unnecessary here; charm is for partners, not scouts.
Plot is secondary in this film. Yes, I know you went to a great deal of trouble to recreate the Berlin Wall and all that noise, but this movie is about watching a spy use muscle, accents, and cool to navigate a sea of enemies and look surprisingly sexy in the process. Were it set in several different countries and a tad cheekier, you’d swear it was a Bond film. Were it more serious and filmed so you couldn’t tell what was going on, you’d swear it was a Bourne film. And if all the action were
reduced to car chases in Paris, you’d wonder why Luc Besson adapted the screenplay.
Honestly, I think she’s more attractive as a brunette, but what do I know?
Atomic Blonde reminded me a lot of G.I. Jane – especially the aftermath of G.I. Jane where Demi Moore somehow took criticism for attacking a role “only she could play.” I’m sorry; how is that a critique? Similarly, while there are plenty of ass-kicking women in the world, I believe only one could truly do this role justice and she was, fortunately, cast as the lead. Charlize Theron probably won’t get much attention for this bit of action/intrigue, but cast -almost literally- anyone else in the lead role and the film doesn’t work. Not sure I can give a performance greater praise.
♪Well the thugs are all equipped and ready to go
They’re ready to throw down. They got their orders
And they’re going now to give glasnost a no-no (nyet-nyet)
But she just couldn’t wait. She had to break some face
Well the red curtain got torn a new one oh yeah oh yeah
Charlize is a punk bopper
Charlize is a punk bopper
Charlize is a punk bopper now♫
Rated R, 115 Minutes
D: David Leitch
W: Kurt Johnstad
Genre: Cold war rumble
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Feminists
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Chauvinists
♪Parody inspired by “Sheena Is a Punk Rocker”
