What a spectacular time to be Mel Gibson, huh? It wasn’t so long ago that a man with his penchant for public sexism and anti-Semitism might be shunned from all reindeer games. Now? Check out our new cultural morass. You don’t even have to apologize. “Forgive and forget” is now “embrace and behold.” So long as Mel has no plans to kneel during the national anthem, millions of Americans will happily support employment for a white bigot and maybe even make him a senator. Welcome to the new norm, Max, it’s Mad.
One of the side effects of seeing the volume of films I see is a general blasé. It’s not that film no longer has the power to excite me; quite the contrary. However, my ability to anticipate with excitement? I rarely mark calendars for future films either good or bad. Whatever shows up, shows up. That said, I wasn’t looking forward to Daddy’s Home 2, the sequel to the painful modern culture clash of infantile self-obsessed would-be fathers that was Daddy’s Home.
Time has passed since the first unpleasant man-centric attention war and nuclear step-father Brad (Will Ferrell) has managed to find common ground with biological father Dusty (Mark Wahlberg). Their alpha male squabbles have downgraded from philosophical to semantic. Oh, goody. Now the kids have plenty of agreeable parents to nurture them poorly. What could go wrong? Need you ask? It’s Christmas and respective grandfathers, Don (John Lithgow) and Kurt (Gibson) have come to make trouble. Well, Kurt has come to make trouble. Don, like his son Brad, is so comically effeminate one has trouble believing he managed to father a child. Kurt has no patience for namby-pamby-touchy-feely parenting, and seeing once-rugged motorbikin’ Dusty embrace the softer side of gears is anathema to Kurt’s entire persona; it’s time to recharge former animosity. And what better way to foment animosity than together time in a winter cabin?
Honestly, yes, forced togetherness would certainly bring the worst out in me. This is where the movie undermines itself – instead of a cozy chalet built for 4-6 and housing a dozen which would truly test collective patience, Kurt opts instead for a Hollywood cabin, where everybody in the house can have their own room, even the kids. What do you fight about when personal space isn’t an issue? The thermostat. That do it for ya, fellas?
Wait. This is a set of guys celebrating Christmas with their families when their fathers show up and create issues; this is like the trans version of Bad Moms 2, right?
The devolution picks up steam through disasters centering around Christmas lights (who goes all out to decorate a rental?) and a living Nativity scene. I guffawed shamelessly at the Christmas-lights-caught-in-a-snow-blower gag (again, who uses a snow blower on a rental? Don’t ask). And then I winced with repulsion at jokes aimed about a bloodlusting, gun-toting sub ten-year-old and a random bit of incest.
Listen, movie, you had a small girl wield a rifle, then shoot her grandfather in a moment of panic, and this was all used for comic effect. Most of you won’t remember this, but after 9/11, two films (Big Trouble and Collateral Damage) were delayed release –and essentially killed in the public eye—because both included scenes of planes being hijacked. True, we have far too many mass shootings in this country to imagine even one, no matter how large, would delay a film
release, but for the sake of good taste could we not imagine Shirley Temple winging gramps as a positive? Just a thought. Don’t get me started on the incest – it was all kinds of wrong for all kinds of reasons.
So, yeah, Daddy’s Home 2 was painful. However, I’ll give the film it’s due – it tried. No, these weren’t good ideas, but these were relatively unique ideas, which are rare in a sequel. And the woman four rows ahead of me thought she was watching the original Airplane! I cannot deny this material appealed to somebody. You can call me a snob, but I’m glad that somebody wasn’t me; I never thought I’d long for days when a movie could be delayed release for poor taste.
♪It’s movie time
And there’s reason to be afraid
This film event
Got an F as its final grade
And in our world of Cinerama
We can hop from screen to screen
Throw up hands in deep frustration
At movie time
But, say, you paid
Paid for another one
At movie time it’s hard
When they’re having fun
There’s world within the lobby
And it’s a world I don’t endear
Where the only soft drinks flowing
Is over-priced root beer
And the cash box bells that ring there
Mean your wallet has more room
Well tonight, thank God, you opted
Out of Dad’s 2
And there won’t be laughs in theaters this Christmastime
The greatest gift Ferrell offers is *click*
This film sucks goodness knows
And Marky Mark still blows
Do they know entertainment at all? ♫
Rated PG-13,100 Minutes
Director: Sean Anders
Writer: Sean Anders, John Morris
Genre: The endless obsession to meet the lofty standards of Christmas Vacation. (If y’all only knew.)
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People with low standards
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The Will Ferrell impaired
♪ Parody Inspired by “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
