They’re both jerks. When it comes right down to it, the best reason to avoid the film Peter Rabbit is not because Peter and his mates deliberately trigger a near fatal allergic reaction –although that’s not the worst reason I’ve heard for boycotting a children’s film. No, the best reason to avoid it is (younger) Farmer McGregor (Domhnall Gleeson) and his CGI foe, Peter Rabbit (voice of James Corden) are both contemptible villains. Pitting villain against villain wasn’t even a good reason to attend Alien vs. Predator.
The rural English estate of the elder Farmer McGregor (Sam Neill) is a playground for naughty bunnies. The farmer grows at least two dozen varieties of vegetable snacking material, which is darn impressive given the plot is about the size of my living room. More impressive, actually, is how the veggies turned out given how many thieves lurk awaiting their V8 payday. Every morning, Peter’s 11 case the joint and then plot about the plot. The animals all wear some form of clothing and speak the Queen’s English. I couldn’t help wondering how much Peter would enjoy the farmer diving into his rabbit-hole every morning in an effort to steal the little blue coat Peter wears.
Our rooting interest seems to side with the bunny. Not exactly sure why; he is the instigator of all conflict and is more than capable of holding his own physically and mentally with any human. Personally, I’ve tended too many underwhelming gardens not to see a farmer’s point-of-view. Oh, now I see why we favor Peter: Farmer McGregor is an enormous Peter in his own right. I should say both Farmer McGregors. The old farmer tragically dies after capturing Peter Rabbit, forcing us to endure an hour more of film. Hmmm, how shall I describe the gentle, loving care the woodland creatures showed the McGregor house after his untimely demise? Well, the words “drunken frat orgy” come to find. Suffice to say, Peter & co. showed the estate the same consideration as a tidal wave shows to a sand castle.
Enter Domhnall Gleeson, who, unlike Peter, isn’t CGI, but his disturbingly unnatural dark hair might be. It takes him all of three seconds to decide Peter is the enemy, yet has to hold the enmity for his lupine foe whenever he’s around the
daft neighbor, Bea (Rose Byrne). God, is there any storyline more tired than pretending you are friend to somebody you hate in order to impress a woman who should know better? What is this, a Popeye cartoon?
I didn’t like the first two Acts of Peter Rabbit. Not at all. I had problems rooting for Peter, the action seemed counter-productive and all the humor was of the “climax of Home Alone” variety. In Act III, however, I enjoyed Peter Rabbit a great deal. Yeah, I know. I’m as surprised as you. The film stopped playing war games and started enjoying its characters. Peter himself makes several *shrug* like references to a brown rabbit who wears a brown jacket. “Doesn’t really work; you’ve got a whole ‘brown thing’ going on.” This, to me, is far funnier than electrocuting, detonating, or asphyxiating your opponent, all of which took place in the first hour of film. Then again, I’m not five.
The Beatrix treasury as dealt
Comes to screen with dignity svelte
Assaulted by intrusion
I find a conclusion:
This Peter Rabbit might make a fine pelt
Rated PG, 93 Minutes
Director: Will Gluck
Writer: Rob Lieber and Will Gluck
Genre: The classic battle between a Weasley and a Patronus
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Five year old children with little sense of morality
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Epi-pen bearers
