Four Staten Island zeroes made the big screen by pulling minor league pranks. While the ubiquitous they may or may not have said, “It couldn’t be done.” I wish instead they had said, “It shouldn’t be done.” Inspired by the lessons of Jackass and Broken Lizard, these four gentlemen noticed that they, too, were white, had a cruel sense of humor, and a limited amount of talent. And most of it showed up in Impractical Jokers: The Movie.
Based on a TV show I have literally never heard of (clearly my loss), the fellas (Brian Quinn, Joe Gatto, James Murray, Sal Vulcano) travel southwards from New York to catch a Paula Abdul concert in Miami, while humiliating themselves and others along the way. The skeletal backstory is 25 years ago, the quartet crashed an Abdul concert and ruined her show. Decades later, Ms. Abdul finds our “heroes” in a diner and recognizes them as TV personalities and not the jerks who ruined her show so many moons ago … and, hence, invites them to her Miami show. This is a terrible plot, but don’t worry, it gets worse.
On the way to the show, the professional pranksters set up many an eye-rolling experience in stunted growth and infantile humor. Most come in the flavor of Fool Ranch Mild, like deliberately blowing a job interview or getting strangers to listen to the draft of a deliberately nasty eulogy. Unlike the Jackass guys, who go it alone, and often put themselves in jeopardy, these guys operate with one guy in the field behaving exactly as instructed from the remaining three suggesting idiocy (through an earpiece) from a block or more away. It’s pretty clear from the outset that only the fellas find their hijinks funny. Nobody else seems even remotely amused no matter who the joke is on. The appalling part to me is not that the jokes aren’t winners. They aren’t. The worst part about this is these guys operate from a completely enclosed bubble where as long as they find one another funny, the rest of the world doesn’t matter. Oh good, the failed empathy of our age continues to pay dividends.
I walked out of this film. If it got better, I don’t care. I’d always wondered about people who walked out of films. I suppose I could understand if it were a political thing. I mean, Planet Maga treats facts like Corona Virus patients. Imagine anybody from red-hat confederate-flag toting bigot Bob to Kellyanne Conway watching a documentary and being confronted by not only how many lies President Trump has told, but the reasons behind the fibs [hint: it’s all self-serving]. I mean, heads would explode. Yet here, I exited the film not for any political reason, but for the film’s utter failure to meet an entertainment threshold of any kind.
I feel like our foursome saw, I dunno, Super Troopers, years ago and said, “Hey, I can do that.” With less diversity, of course. Do you know how little diversity you have to undercut Broken Lizard?
If I’m being honest, I enjoyed the Gollum-like makeup job in one of the sketches. The guys infiltrate a cavern tourist attraction and Gollum pretends he’s been lost for a while. The makeup was funny; he does look like a guy who’s been lost in a cave for a while (except for the teeth, of course). The execution, however, was crap: they oversold how long he’s been stuck (35 years, which brings up several questions that destroy the premise), and also our Gollum can’t help smirking because it’s tongue-in-cheek to get a rise out of tourists. Again, however, the only people who seem to be laughing are the fellows who wrote the joke. In other words, nobody else finds this funny and you guys are blowing your own sketch. You can’t imagine a joke, can’t set-up a joke, and can’t sell a joke. Is the show this bad, too?
Few films in the world will make you look at the Jackass gang with an air of reverence. How many times in your life will you actually have the thought, “Johnny Knoxville is a comic genius” or “Steve-O is underrated?” Well, here we are.
Before I walked out, I wondered if any of these guys were married. I wouldn’t have guessed the moronic, empathy-challenged, and perpetually adolescent mindset that imagined Impractical Jokers: The Movie could accomplish much of anything beyond trolling and high scores on video games, but then we went ahead and made someone this repellent President of the United States. I suppose a “Congratulations” are in order; I wouldn’t have put any of you clowns in charge of a lemonade stand, let alone the country. So, hey, maybe something found one of you attractive enough to befriend for more than a roadtrip, but I wouldn’t put any money on it.
♪I needed a victim to put in harm
There you were
I needed to embarrass someone up and down
There you were
Making a raucous commotion
And self-centered promotion
I want to stop and prank you baby
I just want to stop and prank you baby
How sweet it is to be shoved by you♫
Rated PG-13, 92 Minutes
Director: Chris Henchy
Writer: Joe Gatto, Chris Henchy, James Murray, Brian Quinn, Sal Vulcano
Genre: Arrested development
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Trolls
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The civil
♪ Parody Inspired by “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You)”
