Without The Terminator, there is no Governor Schwarzenegger. That’s a weird thought. Once upon a time, Arnold Schwarzenegger was body builder with a terrible accent. And that’s it. But one day he would become a governor with a terrible accent. Films like Pumping Iron showed he had a flair for show biz, yet no one could have guessed he was destined to be the world’s most bankable movie star. Of course, by the time The Terminator happened, Charles Bronson was a bankable heavy, so there definitely was room for improvement. The Terminator made Arnold a star, and it made him a star because it was that rarity of rarities, a magnificent complicated-seeming-but in-reality-simple film.
First, two naked guys appear independently out of nowhere. If that doesn’t get your attention, the next scene might; it’s the one where big Arnold demands clothing for little Arnold and rips apart a dude or two to get it. Or how about the part after where clothed, armed Arnold, The Terminator, rips a page out of an El Lay phone book and starts laying waste to all residents with the name “Sarah Connor.” If nothing else, this film taught an entire generation the value of being unlisted.
Ten minutes in and we already know everything we need to know. There’s a cyborg sent from a future of evil robot overlords who has come back in time to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). On the plus side, this cyborg, The Terminator (Schwarzenegger), is dogged, determined, and indestructible. In the debit column, The Terminator has no facial recognition software, a fairly sociopathic personality, and a bad German accent. Two questions immediately come to mind:
Why would future robots build a cyborg with a bad German accent?
Why would future robots build a cyborg with a personality?
It really doesn’t matter. To question the logic of this film is to question film itself. Film never answers in reasoned rhetoric; film only answers by making more film. Terminator sequels have now pushed themselves thirty-five years into the future and neither the story, nor the science, has ever been as good as the original.
And, lest we forget, Sarah has some help in ♪Ah ah ah ah Stayin’ Alive, Stayin’ Alive: A human from this future (Michael Biehn) in which bots ‘n’ flesh don’t mix (well, except for Terminators which are gooey human on the outside and indestructible titanium metal skeleton on the inside). I’m making this out as much more confused than it really is; the magic of The Terminator is that it is a monster movie disguised as sci-fi drama. The monster isn’t Godzilla or King Kong; it’s a robot from the future specifically designed to kill (“that’s what it does, that’s ALL it does…”) and it has exactly one human on its “TO DO” list. The film has all the parts of a monster 
movie you love (a monster) but subtracts all the parts you hate (questionable motivation, unnecessary collateral damage, ill-defined power, etc.) There’s a ton of collateral damage in The Terminator, but it’s all necessary—The Terminator is focused on killing Sarah Connor; impede its path and suffer the wrath, dig?
In the decades since birth, The Terminator has become iconic. Like Taxi Driver, it’s one of those films we quote without even remembering where the quote came from. The parameters of The Terminator represent both the best and the worst of what sci-fi has to offer; we know this because of the volume of Terminators that have followed all try to explain or expound upon the first … and fail in the process. The best of them is Terminator 2 which was a nice try but falls significantly shy of the original – but that’s another review. Fact is, Arnold made a convincing monster and we let him … and we liked it so much that in the wake, we made him an action hero. We made him the action hero. We even made partial stars of Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn, whose entire combined non-Terminator value to entertainment is three minutes from Aliens.
The Terminator is a great action film; it’s a great horror film; it’s a great sci-fi film; it’s a great film to see with thirty classmates at 2 am which is how I first saw it. Did I believe Schwarzeneggar was an evil, indestructible, German-accented ultra-murder robot from the future? Oh, Hell yes I did; and that’s the biggest difference between this and the dozens of Terminator knockoffs since. This is a classic piece of American entertainment and a film every movie fan should know well.
I’m in love with The Terminator
I think he said that he’d see me later
Who is “Sarah?” Did he used to date her?
I wished she’d die; I really hate her.
Yeah, I’m in love with The Terminator
He should hang with his bud, Darth Vader
We’re destiny; you know he loves me greater
You can call me The Extrapolater
Rated R, 107 Minutes
Director: James Cameron
Writer: James Cameron and Gale Anne Hurd
Genre: The 80s!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Chris Farley
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Incipinators?
