All it took was nine years of patience. And avoidance. And a pandemic. And a willingness to revisit … but this time around, I genuinely enjoyed Your Highness even knowing I was watching a tasteless and vulgar film aimed at the type of boy who can’t hear the phrase “fish taco” without sniggering. It’s entirely possible that without a stay-at-home request from my governor, I might have never backfilled any of my 2011 review shortcomings, but that’s irrelevant. Point is, I did go back to Your Highness, and despite knowing –or perhaps because I knew- exactly what to expect, I liked it this time around.
There are knowledge requirements for appreciating this sword ‘n’ sorcery epic that’s less about sorcery and more about playing with one’s sword:
1) The hero of this film will behave like a selfish asshole for over an hour of screen time.
2) The disturbing images the film shows you – like a naked Toby Jones without a penis—are intended for the sake of humor and humor alone.
3) Most of the winning jokes contained within are about masturbation.
Case in point:
Natalie Portman: Oh, [Danny McBride], I couldn’t stop thinking about you
Danny McBride (arising from bed): What a coincidence, I was just 
about to finish thinking of you
You need to know there are a lot of masturbation jokes in Your Highness. Why you can’t turn around without this film rubbing one out.
In the Kingdom of Mourne, there are two princely brothers: Fabious (James Franco) and Thadeous (Filmwriter and star Danny McBride). Fabious, the elder, is everything you want in a fairy tale prince – handsome, bold, chivalrous, charismatic, skilled with the blade, a leader among men. Thadeous is … not, as is demonstrated by his near hanging and cowardly escape from dwarves in the opening of the film.
During the wedding of Fabious to Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel), evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux) crashes the party to steal Belladonna away. Thadeous, who was named best man the night before, spent the event spitefully in a distant field ignoring the proceedings. In the aftermath, Fabious and Thadeous both take on the quest to foil Leezar and retrieve Belladonna. While Fabious is a veteran of many campaigns, this is the first quest for Thadeous, who is far more comfortable sitting at home and stroking his … ego.
While watching this film, you might say yourself things like: “What is more stomach turning than watching James Franco French kiss a slimy turtle man?” And, “I thought This Is the End was the only film in which McBride and
Franco encounter a mythical beast with a massive cock.” And on both counts you’d note that the film takes the joke further than your initial revulsion. This is a film for people who giggle at stall graffiti. I made several errors in my first viewing; I got caught up in protagonist and plot. Don’t make that mistake. There is nothing that should make you happily root for Danny McBride in the first place under any circumstances, so why bind yourself to defending the plot he’s written or the character he plays?
Your Highness is the very definition of guilty pleasure. I know this because I initially panned it nine years ago for being obnoxiously puerile. 100% of the film’s merit is humor and 95% of the jokes are of the type one discovers while taking a crap in a public restroom. I deserve to be excoriated for even slightly tilting my head in the “yes” direction. But there it is. I won’t recommend this film to anybody who can’t indulge his inner-Beavis. But those of us still in touch with their junior high selves might just get a good laugh.
My thumb gave a different review
When seeing Your Highness anew
A curious charade
Give it a decade
And maybe I’ll like Tyler‘s films, too
Rated R, 102 Minutes
Director: David Gordon Green
Writer: Danny McBride, Ben Best
Genre: Medieval wankery
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: 9-year-old boys, of which I am apparently one.
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anyone with taste
