Remember when Drew Barrymore was adorable? You might want to hold onto that feeling tightly, because she’s anything but in this vehicle being driven straight into the compost heap. Like few actresses before her, Ms. Barrymore has the unfortunate distinction of delivering two (2) bad performances in The Stand In. Few people will ever be able to make that claim. Fewer still will want to.
Candy Black (Barrymore) is a seasoned punchline actress. Her pratfall routine is straight out of vaudeville, but the film pretends she’s a big star and her fans eat up the moment in every film where she does a faceplant and laments from the experience, “Hit me where it hurts.” I find this particular catchphrase neither catching nor phrasing, but such is only a minor problem with the screenplay. Indicative problem? Oh yes, definitely. But minor.
Paula (also Barrymore) is The Stand In … the actress who blocks when Candy is getting blotto behind the scenes. Paula is exactly what you get when you ask someone to make Drew Barrymore look ugly. While Candy is a domineering, entitled mess, Paula is mousy and unassuming. She’s a fan girl with a fan girl job. And she doesn’t quite realize how dependent she is on Candy not being a sour patch kid.
In a whirlwind of personal regression, Candy behaves like a toddler, blinds a fellow actress while throwing a tantrum on stage and –essentially- ends her own career all in one two minute segment. This storm also, unwittingly, kills Paula’s pathetic career as well. And, as of this moment, the film becomes Paula’s as we mildly sympathize for the fangirl.
Look, I don’t wanna give away the plot here, but Act II is almost entirely devoted to making the audience try and decide which character they hate more – the spoiled, self-indulgent ex-star or her mediocre opportunistic doppelganger cashing in on the ex-star’s career. I don’t say the film gets better when you stop caring for either lead, but it does get more palatable. I mean, I could only finish the thing happily knowing whatever happened to Candy or Paula wasn’t going to remain in my memory for more than 30 minutes or so.
I have no idea what possessed anyone to greenlight The Stand In. It takes a very cynical view of Hollywood and extends it to the
place where you hate the people both in front of the camera and behind the camera. I would say Drew Barrymore is bad in this film, but such a sentiment barely does her justice. Drew Barrymore was so bad in this film, I couldn’t tell which depiction of her I hated more. And I love Drew Barrymore, which made the revelation all the sadder.
The Stand In is what happens when you want to make All About Eve but you have Drew Barrymore subbing for both Anne Baxter and Bette Davis … and you’re on crack. Drew has always had a wonderful smile and does “Surprise!” well on camera… after that, however, her uses as an actress are limited, especially in a screenplay which asks her to out-bitch herself. I daresay Drew’s days as a romantic lead are coming to an end which leaves her future a bit in doubt. I say that full well knowing she just landed the biggest role of her career in The Stand In – in 101 minutes of film, she is -combined- on screen for more than 101 minutes. But … she kinda flubbed it. Big time. I left this film hating both Paula and Candy; I wished them both to die unpleasantly for the good of fiction.
This film did indeed hit me where it hurts.
Once a haven actress for lost souls
Drew Barrymore has misplaced her goals
She has asked of her giver
If she cannot deliver
Would instead you settle for two bad roles?
Rated R, 101 Minutes
Director: Jamie Babbit
Writer: Sam Bain
Genre: The ol’ switcheroo
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: You gotta be like really, really infatuated with Drew Barrymore
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The rest of us
