Be careful what you wish for. Here are the things I always want in a film: original content, genuine content, emotion, humor, engagement, entertainment, and maybe, just maybe, that the people who make the film do it for reasons other than a cynical money grab or a desire to spread lies. Jackass Forever has all of these things. All of them. In spades. I wouldn’t call it “wholesome” or “universal,” but who needs those things? Except me, of course. And maybe a few billion others.
God help you if Jackass is your jam.
Be careful what you wish for.
Have you ever seen “Jackass?” Hmmm. How shall I put this? Jackass movies are unique treasures of moronic, self-destructive behavior. The gang imagines something that would be considered physical torture and carry a felony five-to-ten-years-mandatory sentence if administered upon an unwitting human, and then chooses one among them (sometimes they know; sometimes they don’t) to be the victim.
Then they execute the horrible deed.
Then they all laugh their asses off (even the victim, assuming he or she can). It’s all good fun, right?
What am I talking about? Well, one segment was called the “Cup Test.” I’d name somebody here, but it doesn’t matter; you’ve never seen a cast so dissimilar and yet so interchangeable at the same time. Anyway, Person X tested the durability of an athletic supporter in four consecutive ways: 1) Getting punched directly in the junk by heavyweight brawler Francis Ngannou. 2) Taking a softball to the softballs, administered by Olympian Danielle O’Toole. 3) Taking a slapshot off the nads at the stick of NHLer PK Subban. 4) Finally, having a pogo stick crunch his crunchies. I have to reiterate here: all of these would be serious, serious crimes if not for a waiver and a desire. In some ways, the Jackass boys are the true artists of our time – who else is willing to suffer for their art as they do?
Now speaking of jocks, the standard Jackass outfit consists exactly of one jockstrap. Often the jockstrap is there for protection and nothing else. None of these guys has a problem with nudity –including the opening segment in which a mostly-flaccid penis is painted green and used as Godzilla on a scale model city. I lost count on how many dongs were presented in the film. I also lost count on how
many ways in which members were abused – although I was quite amused when longtime Jackass regular Steve-O attached a queen bee to the head of his shaft.
There are, indeed, experiences you can’t get from magazines. Speaking of which, over the course of 96 minutes, various Jackasses are tortured with several representatives from the animal kingdom: Spider, Scorpion, Bees, Snakes, Turtle, Condor, Bear, Bull. (Is there a Jackass zodiac?) I feel a bit for the animals, but they seemed to be wrangled properly in each case. Their victims … less.
You know what is kinda funny about the onslaught of puerile self-destructive stinging, zapping, punching, crunching, biting, slamming, nailing, whamming, thumping and banging that is the Jackass Forever oeuvre? Some of it looked kind of fun. No, I really don’t want to stick my tongue in a taser, get flattened by a random plank, step sideways onto a fast-moving treadmill, or volunteer for the ultimate wedgie, but … I think I might enjoy ground-level parachuting with industrial fans or being shot out of a human cannon into a lake. Is that “how they get ya?” I doubt it. We’ve seen the rest of the film.
Johnny Knoxville has now lived long enough to acquire white hair; I imagine he’s continually ruined several office “Dead Pools.” I never really pictured these guys becoming old men; it doesn’t make any sense. Personally, I think this is what societal members do when they can’t find a mate … but I could be wrong.
There is no denying that Jackass Forever represents the lowest brow of lowbrow humor. My biggest quibble is not that the humor isn’t inventive, disgusting, cringe-worthy, of distasteful (it’s all of these), but that it’s repetitive. These are fellas who spend their creative energy thinking about how they can enhance “getting hit in the nuts” jokes. But much as I might pretend to be above it, I’m not. This is funny stuff and the fact that the players deliberately set themselves up as round-robin victim and enforcer, I don’t really have a problem with how they mangle their bodies. To me, it’s no more silly than full body tattoos. It’s not my choice, but if this is how you need to be, knock yourself out. Literally.
Jackass is the king of staged pratfalls
Their humor is bereft of unneeded schmaltz
The acts of “defiance”
Hardly rocket science
And about as subtle as a slapshot to the balls
Rated R, 96 Minutes
Director: Jeff Tremaine
Writer: Jason ‘Wee Man’ Acuña, Eric André, Derrick Beckles, Colton Dunn, Dave England, Spike Jonze, Johnny Knoxville, Nick Kreiss, Preston Lacy, Knate Lee, Bam Margera, Ehren McGhehey, Chris Pontius, Sarah Sherman, Steve-O, Jeff Tremaine, Andrew Weinberg
Genre: The anti-puppetry of the penis
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Six-year-old 25-year-old boys
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Their dates
