Santa is a doddering old fool, eh? OK. I can see that. Santa is a doddering fool with the ability to evaluate the thought of a missed gift as, “meh, win a few, lose a few?” That Santa I have trouble picturing. But the makers of Arthur Christmas didn’t, unfortunately.
The vision of Santa’s technological Christmas warfare is the key to enjoyment here. Santa employs, literally, thousands of combat-ready trained elves. North Pole central on Christmas Eve resembles NASA on launch day all run in strict military efficiency. Santa’s sleigh has been replaced by one of the alien ships in Independence Day and elves rappel from the sky with strict time restraints to cover the necessary ground, empresenting entire towns in a matter of seconds. How do they not get caught? A serious of technological distractions and infrared sensors. I especially loved the combination Naughty-Nice detector/stocking stuffer gun. It reads the sleeping child, “73% Nice”, then one click and it ejaculates candy and oranges into a stocking 73% to capacity. That’s the good.
The bad were the players, starting with the title character, Arthur Christmas (James McAvoy). He’s the black sheep son-of-Santa. Older brother, much older brother Steve (Hugh Laurie) – of the Christmas tree shaped goatee-
is the hero and heir to the sleigh. Oh yeah, Santa is a royal position passed through blood lines. Didn’t know that, did ya? One guy has the job for decades and then passes it to his eldest son. Which of course begs several questions, starting with 1) Where do Mrs. Clauses come from? 2) What happens if Santa ever fathers a girl? And 3) where do all the other relatives go, you know the ones who are direct descendants, but never got the big job? Those are questions for another movie.
Arthur is a well-meaning doof. When he discovers a present has gone undelivered, he brings it to the attention of father Christmas (Jim Broadbent) and brother commander-in-chief Christmas, who in response do indeed say something to the effect of, “win a few, lose a few. Two billion in the plus column outweighs the one loss.” Naturally, Arthur takes it upon himself to get the present delivered, employing the aid of retired Grandsanta (Bill Nighy), who takes the job greedily just to show up the young folks. There’s a lot of seriously selfish behavior here stemming from iconic symbols of generosity.
So by default, bumbling Arthur becomes the clown we root for; his spirit is pure even if his skills are poor. Aardman studios forwent the claymation route this time around in favor of the techno. This was a huge mistake; the animation isn’t so much poor as unattractive; aside from some nifty sleigh maneuvers and some suddenly gravity-challenged Serengeti quadrupeds, there isn’t much to enjoy once Arthur Christmas gets rolling, or flying in this case. Gotta really love Christmas to love this film.
Rated PG, 97 Minutes
D: Sarah Smith
W: Peter Baynham, Sarah Smith
Genre: 21st Century Santa
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The glaze-eyed zombie masses unable to distinguish among quality Christmas entertainment
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Strict Santa constitutionalists
