Is this what happens when you run out of money? You start taking no-win roles clearly intended for lesser actors? I almost feel sorry for Nicolas Cage. He doesn’t even get a chance here to do the thing he loves to do, chew scenery. Monsters right and left? How are possibly supposed to overact with all this swordplay?
Anyway, good ol’ Nic and good ol’ boy Ron Perlman are disillusioned crusaders fighting the Black Plague. Their days of battling heathens and demons and heathen-demons are ending. They’re getting too old for this shift. So begins Lethal Weapon: Crusades — the two take on one last case of transporting a suspected witch from a godforsaken hellhole to a godforsaken village; it’s an upgrade. The would-be witch? She gets a mobile non-Nicolas cage. Brings up the question of which would you prefer?
Season of the Witch is a dark film. Much more in look than temperament. I swear this got made because there was a vacuum left by crappy Underworld sequels. It’s the kind of film in which we see a man v. wolf battle in the forest. Men win; take a minimal amount of damage in the process, hear more wolves, and decide to flee on carriage. What, you’re gonna outrun a wolf? You were doing fine in the clearing, dudes. There are far worse films out there, but aside from a nifty rickety bridge crossing scene, I can’t recommend anything about this film unless you’re really, really into medieval devilry or Nicolas Cage. If either of those is the case, may God have mercy on your soul.
Rated PG-13, 95 Minutes
D: Dominic Sena
W: Bragi F. Schut
Genre: FYNC!
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Salem jurors
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Your grandmother
