If I’m at a loss for words here it is because I am stuck slack-jawed gawking at the shameless manipulation put forth in order to score a few bucks for a worthy cause. Lemme back out – I don’t care how worthy your cause is: you can’t take a dump on screen, put it in 3D IMAX, charge $17 for a child’s matinee ticket and get away with it in the name of “it’s a good cause”. You’d think for that outlay of cash, you’d get to take an animal home with you.
Born to be Wild is a 40 minute long infomercial. Don’t feel cheated on the time, however; because if you attend this “film” it will seem endless. You will check your watch at least thrice. It tells a sort-of story in documentary fashion about rescued elephants and chimpanzees. Most of these beasts have lost parents to hunters and predators; they won’t survive on their own – they need this rescue mission. No doubt a worthy cause. But there is nothing, and I repeat, nothing on screen that can possibly justify the price tag. Born to Be Wild plays like an ad. The 3D is weak; the story has no flow; the humor is minimal to non-existent; the drama is hinted at, but decidedly missing. Morgan Freeman has been manipulated into a narration job and only does half the story. If this were on TV, you’d flip right past it.
I’d love to evaluate Born to Be Wild for plot or theme or character development or any of those things you look for in a movie. Not possible. I’m quite certain the producers saw an opportunity and tried to hide the lack of film-length or story-telling with gimmicks – “let’s put it in 3D!” “And IMAX!” “Let’s get Morgan Freeman!” Will the audience figure out we have no story to tell? Or that this will be the face that garners the most screen time?
Shameless.
Rated G, 40 Minutes (count ’em, 40)
D: David Lickley
W: Drew Fellman
Genre: Wallet trap
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Chimpanzees
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Cash-poor parents
