How would you react if you saw your daughter break a man’s neck? Proud? Horrified? Queasy? Bored? Personally, I hope I never have to find out.
Here’s another question: you’re on the run from the law and several lethal agencies, when do you stop and say,” I could really go for a new coif about now. Let’s get a cute new bob for the thaw.”?
The biggest question of all here is in a movie with Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, and Channing Tatum, how do we end up following Gina Carano (who?) around? If I were, say, in love with Channing Tatum or really into Moulin Rouge!, I might just feel a little ripped off by having an action film with Antonio, Ewan, Michael or Channing center instead around Crush from “American Gladiators“.
To be fair, the Haywire fights are pretty good, and the plot is confusing enough to distract you from the fact that this tale has been told many, many times in our generation. Deal gone bad, deadly agent gone rogue, civility gone to the dogs and many armed men gonna buy it. This kind of movie has been in vogue lately with The Bourne Identity and its sequels: The Bourne Ultimatum, The Bourne Redemption, The Bourne Exorcism, The Bourne Free, The Bourne in a Barn, and The Bourne Again. The plot hasn’t actually changed much since First Blood, and it wasn’t new then. I mean, you can jazz up the particulars – add a swanky soundtrack, re-edit the timeline, confuse the plot details, but the story is essentially the same – somebody dangerous is on the run and there will be a large body count before the running stops.
Does Gina Carano have a future in movies? Hard to say. Even given the Steven Soderbergh treatment, she still scowls an awful lot. To be fair, her character is supposed to scowl a lot. That’s what happens when you’re on the run. That doesn’t exactly explain the pre-run scowling. Personally, my guess is that if Jason Momoa (Conan the Barbarian) can find a movie career, Gina can too. Maybe they can find one together, so long as the script calls for excessive use of Pugil Sticks.
Rated R, 93 Minutes
D: Steven Soderbergh
W: Lem Dobbs
Genre: (Wo)man on the run …
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Street fight junkies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: “I came for Antonio Banderas, not Crush from ‘American Gladiators’. “
