What do you do when you have zero good ideas for a movie, but get funding anyway? Do you go ahead with your project? If you answered “yes,” it’s possible you made Intruders – a horror film with no scares, but more closet activity than a House Committee against gay rights. There’s this guy, call him “Hollowface,” because, well, all the cool evil names have already been taken. He sneaks into a house, hangs out in a closet and waits until the opportune time to fail in his attempt to steal your face. Apparently, all the cool evil plots have also been taken. Can’t you see this guy show up at the Supernatural Forces of Evil meetings, “I wanna be Candyman. He’s always Candyman. No? How about ‘The Thing’ or ‘The Grudge’ or ‘Chuckie’ and, oh yeah, I want to really scare people, too.” Is there a minor league for evil spirits? Because Hollowface just doesn’t have the A Game for the majors. He’s been around for decades and yet still hasn’t managed to nab even one face yet. But not for lack of trying. You see him hangin’ out in the closet day-in, day-out, just convinced he’s gonna get that face. He’s like The Little Engine Who Could of evil specters.
And … well, that’s another thing. Is he a specter? He can fly, I think, so that would be a yes. But he’s decidedly corporeal, albeit faceless. He can be fought off by a small boy or housewife, but then seems to beat an adult man into submission. Either Clive Owen is a serious weakling or Hollowface just plays to the level of his competition. I think I could argue it either way. The whole, “it’s a guy in my closet” thing just doesn’t suggest supernatural to me at all. Hollowface should work on that, too.
Intruders is horror in the modern genre of lingering evil spirit. We’ve seen this in a number of Japanese films and their American remakes like The Grudge and Shutter except Hollowface just doesn’t quite have the patter down. Yeah, I see you creeping in; I see you hanging out. What I don’t see is corpses or disgust or some sort of vengeance involved. Did they lock you in a closet as a child? Did they take your face? If you’re gonna play the decades-long poltergeist game, you have to come equipped with a reason.
So what goes on here? Guy in a closet. Constantly. He shows up after the movie daughter in the cast retrieves a hidden story from a nested knot in a tree. Her retelling the story in front of classmates is actually the creepiest part of movie. That’s kind of sad. The guy shows up periodically, sometimes in liquid ceiling form (does that make sense?), to get the girl’s face. Despite the numerous failed attempts, Hollowface’s evil creates no behavioral change in the family:
“Hey, honey, how’d you sleep?”
“Hollowface dripped off the ceiling and tried to grab my face again.”
“Oh, that’s horrible. I might have to give him a stern talking to. Well, hurry up or you’ll be late for school.”
Note to self: if ever there is an evil face-stealing entity in closet … either get a new closet or have him sort out the Christmas decorations while he’s there.
Rated R, 100 Minutes
D: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
W: Nicolás Casariego, Jaime Marques
Genre: Mundane horror
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: I dunno, people obsessed with loss of face … the Japanese, maybe?
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Everybody
