And whose turn is it to play the vain Evil Queen this week? Why, it’s Julia Roberts. Hey, that’s not a half-bad choice; she’s still fetching, but on the tail end of her Pretty Woman days, and she’s cool enough to make vanity a plot point. I bet most fortysomething actresses fear such the same way they fear bread and clocks.
Narrated by the Mirror herself, this Snow White tale begins with standard Disney opening #2: beautiful princess, parents missing, step-mother, yadda, yadda, evil, Goofy. But Mirror took pains to point out how pretentious the name “Snow White” is. Giggle. Then Mirror discussed the kingdom as constant frivolity during the Snow White childhood, with constant singing and dancing, “apparently people didn’t have jobs, they just sang and danced all day.” Double giggle. At this point, I knew I’d like Mirror Mirror.
Lily Collins is the tragic princess du jour. How she maintains beauty while sequestered in her room for years is not explained. But hey, it’s a fairy tale. The prince is Armie Hammer, who goes shirtless in three separate scenes in the film. Show it if you got it, huh? Why he travels the kingdom without armed escort is not explained. But hey, it’s a fairy tale. Oh yeah, we have dwarves, too. Instead of day laborers, they are now bandits. Alas, the economy has taken its toll everywhere. When they attack on stilts, it’s clearly normal adult sized folks on stilts. They wear black, so the pretense is available to us. How dwarves on stilts represent a physical threat to anybody … also not explained. But it’s a fairy tale … and the stunts are well coordinated.
Coupled with dwarves-turned-thieves is an absolutely priceless political commentary in which Queen’s 
flunkee Brighton (Nathan Lane) announces a tax raise on the downtrodden masses by hinting at a beast that needs to be kept at bay. Ah, even fairy tale characters gain political advantage through fear these days.
Mirror Mirror plays a great deal like Enchanted; there’s just enough clever here to make you smile coupled with breakout performances by Lily Collins and Armie Hammer. Not quite Amy Adams and James Marsden breakout, but same ballpark. A duel between the two is clever, well-choreographed and romantic; I think it’s my favorite scene in several months.
Like the title says, however, the movie isn’t as much Armie and Lily as it is Julia and her mirror. Now isn’t a magic mirror supposed to be meek and fragile, just another sycophantic yes –man? I like a mirror with a backbone. This one taunts the evil queen: “There’s a price to pay for magic.” I like that idea. It’s decidedly missing from the Potter files. I also enjoyed that the mirror spoke as Julia Roberts. Well, shouldn’t it reflect the Queen? It is a mirror, after all. The Mirror is antagonistic, so while it physically displays the reflection of the evil Queen, it mirrors, if you will, the emotional reflection of the audience; that’s clever. And much more likable than it isn’t, not unlike Mirror Mirror itself.
Rated PG, 106 Minutes
D: Tarsem Singh
W: Jason Keller, Melisa Wallack
Genre: Modern retelling
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Fairy tale fans
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Midget-phobes
