Girl in Progress feels like a dress rehearsal for a real film – one that maybe stars Halle Berry and Mark Ruffalo instead of Eva Mendes and Matthew Modine. One in which genuine rebellion takes place instead of mock rebellion. And maybe one you’d remember for five seconds beyond the credits.
Forget Eva Mendes for a sec. This is Cierra Ramirez’ film. Meet Ansiedad (“Ann”). She’s a world-weary teenager. Oh, what I’d give for another one of those. Can we never document the problems of the “grew up too fast” crowd? It is about time we heard from this underrepresented and deeply misunderstood branch of humanity. Mom (Mendes) is a flake. Her current occupation of waitress and address of Seattle is on the up-and-up which almost makes up for being romantically involved with a married man (Modine) and, oh yeah, being completely ignorant of Ansiedad’s life. This is OK, because Ansiedad is roughly twice as mature as any adult and 17 times as mature as her peers.
If Ann isn’t likeable, this is a bottom ten film, no question.
Ann gets a notion that she needs to come of age. It was at this point I wanted to slap the director (Patricia Riggen) with a, “world weary teens have already come of age. That’s why they’re world weary.” Bleah. However, this seems to be the only 
plot catalyst in sight, so hey, let her be. After a night of Hughes-video binging, Ann maps out an actual plan to come of age; with a helpful chart set on her wall. The deliberate and calculated road bumps include failing at school, disappointing a personal mentor, dissing a best friend, stealing from mom and a culmination of this horrible idea: the premeditated losing of virginity to a cad – the last part made a nice addition to the wall chart, and a clear sign that Ann’s mother never checks on her even by accident. To my teen readers, I suggest you put a “to do” timeline on the wall in your room ending with large arrows pointing to a big block lettered “LOSE VIRGINITY” and see how long it takes for parental intervention in some form.
Patricia Arquette shows up in the mentor role to remind us that nobody is Desperately Seeking any Arquette (Rosanna, Patricia, David, Courteney Cox, etc.) these days.
You want to wretch at the ideas being presented, but this is where the film works. Boy, I love the cynicism of today’s age. Girl in Progress shines when Ansiedad is carrying out her plans. And, subsequently, the picture flails when Eva Mendes takes back the screen. Eva. Psst, Eva! It’s never going to happen. You are never going to win an Oscar; you are never going to be the star of a Palme d’Or recipient. But that’s OK. That also describes John Cusack, Anna Faris and half a dozen other people we love. It’s important to know your role. Get in, be sexy, do your poor woman’s Sandra Bullock thing and leave.
Until then, let’s see more of Cierra Rodriguez. She might have a future.
Rated PG-13 , 92 Minutes
D: Patricia Riggen
W: Hiram Martinez
Genre: Rebellion lite
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Teen girls who wish to be heard, sort of
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Their fathers
