How much longer is Jason Statham going to make the same damn film over again? Act I: Bad guys, villainy, threats. Act II: Car Chases. Act III: Soft-spokenness and violent death. “This one is different!” I hear you scream. Really? How so? “Statham is soft-spoken in Russian as well.” Oh.
Safe has one of, I believe, five standard action plots – the child in trouble variety. The child in question here (Catherine Chan) is a wunderkind with the ability to memorize anything on paper instantly. Mobsters are out to exploit her uncommon talent and when Statham unwittingly assumes her protectorship, this particular version of said plot becomes absolutely nothing like Mercury Rising. Nothing whatsoever.
Let me backtrack to the Statham backstory. Feeling double-crossed, the Russian mob goes after Luke Wright (Statham). The mob is constantly going after guys. I want to see the passive mob. Wouldn’t that be a hoot? I digress. They kill Luke’s wife, but spare him with the promise that they will kill anybody with which he ever has a future positive interaction. That’s a pretty big burden, huh? Never getting to share a smile with another human being? Of course, can you imagine the amount of energy it takes to follow through on such a promise? You’re better off killing him, da? Eh, movies. Despite the promising name, Mr. Wright is quickly reduced to gutter snipe; when he quietly shares the gift of shoes at a homeless 
shelter, he finds the recipient dead in the morning. You gotta respect people true to their word. Personally, I’d think about using this strange circumstance to my advantage; I’d make it my personal goal in life to befriend Rush Limbaugh or O.J. Simpson.
Statham movies are all about the fighting. Almost all of the fighting here takes place in front of a shaky hand-held camera. This choice couldn’t be more stupid than using Abe Vigoda as Jason Statham’s stunt double. And it may as well be Abe Vigoda in many of the shots. Do you learn that in film school? Do they teach, “when filming an action scene, by all means make certain the action is blurry or out-of-focus, otherwise the audience might just figure what’s going on.”
I blame (writer, director) Boaz Yakin. It doesn’t take much to make Jason Statham look badass, but you managed to undercut the majority of his badassery. Were you nostalgic for (Yakin’s) Uptown Girls or something? Let me make this simple for any future Statham director – you want to make the same Statham film, then make it. The key elements are cars, big ugly thugs, a primo fight coordinator and NO HAND HELD CAMERA. Got it? Good.
Rated R, 94 Minutes
D: Boaz Yakin
W: Boaz Yakin
Genre: Statham
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who live for Jason Statham.
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People who have never heard of Jason Statham.
