Regrettably, my Bollywood education is limited. But let me ask; is the Bollywood motto, “pretty people make pretty 
movies”? That always seems the bottom line. So long as the lead singer is easy on the eyes, we’re good to go. The best part of being attractive? I imagine it’s the universality. Being pretty transcends time and place. And if you can sing, dance and look awkward on film, Bollywood might just have a place, you pretty person you.
Teri Meri Kahaani is a trio of tragic love tales with the same duo playing different characters in three different times and places. The pretty man is Shahid Kapoor as Javed, Govind & Krish. The pretty woman is Julia Roberts Priyanka Chopra, who stars as the law firm of Ruksar, Aradhana & Radha. The tales of romantic failure include movie star/common musician in the 1960s, a 2010 tale of two college students in the U.K. and finally a roué and the girl he falls for as India starts to rebel against the English occupation in 1910.
There’s something disconcerting about two actors playing different people falling in love across timelines; it’s difficult to take the romance seriously because you’re acutely aware of the phony nature of the set-up. It’s like if You’ve Got Mail, Joe Versus the Volcano and Sleepless in Seattle all got wrapped into one big film with a cheesy ending tacked on to resolve al
l unhappiness in a cute little unbelievable package. But you know what? Some of the music really is fun.
In each story, Shahid and Priyanka meet by quite literally running into one another. In the modern tale, he gets her cell phone by accident and she cruelly sics the bobby on him before realizing her error. My favorite of the three tales revolves around Indian independence – a-political Shahid wants the girl but cannot convince her his actions aren’t spurious until he takes a beating at the hands of English soldiers. She visits him every day in jail building to the key moment in which he steals the guard keys so as to … have a big prison song and dance number. It’s Bollywood, whatchagonnado? The guards are miffed for not being invited to participate and throw our boy in isolation for three months. During his time in the clink, she marries another man. That’s heartbreaking stuff … even with all the dance numbers. Next time, Javed, invite the guards to dance with you.
Pretty romance/same song and dance
Each timed attempt/they blow the chance
Don’t give in yet/to make amends
Gotta stay until/this thing really ends
Rated U for Unrequited, Minutes — or whatever the Indian equivalent is? Yes, several
D: Kunal Kohli
W: Robin Bhatt, Kunal Kohli & Rumbles Kohli
Genre: Pretty people in love
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Silly romantics
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Not-so-silly not-so-romantics
