Some movies have nothing to say, maybe half an issue tops. The Twilight franchise comes to mind – five films, no real issues. You heard me, Twilight. And then there are films at the other end of the spectrum where you can’t believe the characters can even stand upright for the weight of the onuses they carry. Welcome to The Sapphires, a movie about four Aboriginal girls who decide life in the Outback sucks soooooo much, they’d rather be singing in war-torn Vietnam.
Go ahead and ask yourself how much does your life have to suck that, as a neutral party, you’d choose to enter the Vietnam War. Don’t take too long to answer, however, as the issues will attack like a dingo on a defenceless baby once they get rollin’. See, you start with the coming of age stuff: Julie (Jessica Mauboy) is too young to join the band of singing sisters Gail (Deborah Mailman) and Cynthia (Miranda Tapsell). Then comes the racism angle, as all the sisters are of Aboriginal descent attempting to perform among whites in town. Then there are the standard band issues. Loser Dave Lovelace (Chris O’Dowd, in a role you just won’t believe came from this guy) becomes manager and has to deal with the standard arrangement of group problems: song choice and band name and ego and venue and costume and audition. The girls naturally opt for country music and Dave turns them into 60s soul sistahs. Then the fourth girl shows up, cousin Kay (Shari Sebbens). Kay is a member of the “Stolen Generation” [read: Aboriginal kids of the mid-20th Century who could pass for white and, hence, were forcibly taken from homes to learn “white” ways.] This of 
course leads to oreo issues and band conflict.
We haven’t even gotten to freaking Vietnam where there’s a war going on yet.
Oh, and did I mention? Underage Julie has a son. Musta forgotten that one. So did the film, btw. Son is waved goodbye and neither seen nor talked about for the interior of the film. This is all based on a true story, of course, because I’m not sure a fabrication of this nature would impress anybody. The Sapphires begin the film as the Cummeragunja Songbirds (a tribute to their home sty), and wisely shed that guaranteed cancer of a name before hitting the road. On a similar note: Benedict Cumberbatch is a name so horrible that by itself it will hold him back no matter how interesting he is on film. But I digress. He has nothing to do with this particular film. That comment was irrelevant when I wrote it, btw.
At the end of the day, there is exactly one requirement for any musical: quality sound. The actresses selected all have marvelous voices (especially Mauboy and Sebbens). Some of the arrangements work; the ones that don’t are overshadowed by background warfare. Try to picture the kids from That Thing You Do all going to Vietnam and you’ll get a small idea of what The Sapphires is up to. Tell you what, I wouldn’t mind seeing more of any of the major players in this film.
Come hear a tale seldom told
‘Bout four Aborigines on the road
Care nothing it seems for quiet calm
They took their show to Vietnam
Come on over n’ get some issues
Enough so among which you can’t choose
Black girls who don’t know the blues
You might just need a box o’ tissues
Rated PG-13, 103 Minutes
D: Wayne Blair
W: Tony Briggs, Keith Thompson
Genre: It would be easier, quite frankly, to say what genre wasn’t covered.
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Stolen generation generations
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Fans of the Victorian Aboriginal Protection Act of 1869 … and people who hate soul music, war, interracial attachment, the 1960s, Australia, pick a hate, any hate.
