Animation is an area in which Indie/foreign film continues to lag embarrassingly behind Hollywood. Yes, you’ve schooled us all in terms of character development, symbolism and composition, but when it comes to animation, you’re like the genius prodigy trying to get through Phys. Ed. As far as I’m concerned, non-Hollywood movie animation has yet to come up to par with 60s cult kitsch TV cartoon Rocky & Bullwinkle, which leaves it, what? at least 50 years behind? Yeah, that sounds about right.
The latest Euro-animation force-feeding at the breast of tolerance is The Painting, a blatant Toy Story rip-off except for the fact that it wasn’t insightful, humorous (how do you make an animated film without attempting humor? How is that even possible?), fun or entertaining, and it was painful to look at. It was short. I’ll give it that. Huzzah for short.
As the title suggests, we begin in a painting. This particular painting has all the artistic merit of a post-feeding babyfood collage. Its humanoid denizens can move about (I did say Toy Story rip-off, did I not?) and they’ve divided themselves into three classes based on character definition: Alldones, Halfsies and Scribblies, IIRC. Don’t care. The Alldones discriminate against the other classes, thus setting up the lamest bigotry metaphor since the Star-bellied Sneetches. I suppose I can’t really fault them for that; I mean, the film is animated. But wait a minute. There was a nude 
animated, too (don’t get too excited; she comes to life, sure, but the artistic merit isn’t much better than the baby food. I suppose it’s equally as titillating as a pimento-ed olive representing a breast.). So now I’m confused – this is Star-bellied Sneetch level metaphor, yet there’s a nude woman with at least 10 lines of dialogue. Gee, something for everybody, huh?
A collection of quasi forms discover they can leap out of the painting, and, finding themselves in a loft filled with mediocre art, decide to go get the artist to complete the half-assed drawings in their painting. Here, too, I found objection. Shouldn’t the lesson be that there is nothing wrong with how you look? We should instead be evaluated for our actions? To me, it seems akin to the Jews in Schindler’s List seeking out God to make them German.
I’ve already spent far too much time on this film. It wasn’t terribly enjoyable, nor pleasant to look at. Quite frankly, on both screenwriting and animation, you guys would have to work your way up to Rocky & Bullwinkle. And work hard at that.
Some figures entirely frustrated
Through the eyes of peers they were hated
Seeking the master
To avoid disaster
Isn’t it fun when bigotry’s animated?
Not Rated, 76 Minutes
D: Jean-François Laguionie
W: Jean-François Laguionie, Anik Leray
Genre: Crappy animation
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: A child who has never before seen a television
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Pixar reps
