Wait a minute, this film has nothing to do with Paranoia! Or does it? Wait! What am I missing? Uh oh. Who knows I saw this film? I mean, besides the government? Do they know I sneak into films? They must. Do they care? Will I get a scolding? Ah!!! They know too much already!
Sorry about that. I wanted to add some tension to the review to make up for the film having none. That’s pretty funny considering the title is Paranoia. Instead of tension or reality, we’re given a glimpse of what life is like in the imagination of a hotshot douchebag. It goes something like this: after “slaving” away at the old grind until you’re almost 27 (gasp!), you finally get a shot at the big time, making a presentation in front of CEO Nicolas Wyatt (Gary Oldman). You get in front of the board with your team and make the best pitch ever, but stupid CEO only wants to drink his 
tea. Jerk. And when you call him on it, you get fired. Whaaaaaaa ?!
Seriously, Adam (Liam Hemsworth) gets fired for insinuating the CEO should watch the multi-million dollar pitch instead of being preoccupied with his tea. Is this how young people think, really? And, oh yeah, Adam gets four other people who didn’t say anything fired with him. Yup, this is how young people think. Instead of moping, Adam goes clubbing on the expense of the company who just fired him. There, he manages to rack up a $16 K bill and get laid. This is a Robert Luketic film, so it was only a matter of time before a female sexually degraded herself for the sake of “entertainment.”
Next day, Wyatt’s thugs drag him to Wyatt who gives him the ultimatum of “spy for me or feel my $16 K wrath.” There’s a lot that goes into this scene – the selling of soul, the fact that Adam used the money for personal party rather than paying his father’s medical bills, the lesser of evils, the celebration of youth and stupidity, but mostly I was thinking, “He (Oldman) gets to use his accent and you have to suppress yours. Nyah!”
Adam takes the deal and gets the My Fair Lady treatment to go spy on Harrison Ford of rival Eikon. Not even a montage and *poof* he’s Eikon Executive material. I’d say, “this only happens in the movies,” but even in the movies, HR reps would notice that a recently-fired flunkee hasn’t the credentials to run the gift shop, much less the 39th floor. And who interviews him? His one-night-stand. Oh, this is stupid. I rated Paranoia way too high.
Adam and his buddies are smart
Choosing between head and heart
Undercover spy?
Heavens, man, why?
Good luck with your career at Wal-Mart
Rated PG-13, 106 Minutes
D: Robert Luketic
W: Jason Dean Hall, Barry Levy
Genre: Melrose Place
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Twentysomethings not moving up the ladder fast enough.
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Actual workers
