I’d like a new term to pair with “guilty pleasure.” You see, to my thinking, guilty pleasure implies consistency. “Yes, this is bad for me, but I enjoy it movies each and every time I indulge; hence, I feel guilt with the frequency with which I partake of this item.” French Fries are a guilty pleasure. America’s Funniest Home Videos is a guilty pleasure. In movie terms, this would be something like While You Were Sleeping. I know it’s a bad film. I’m also well outside the target demographic; hence, when it comes on and I find myself watching, again, now that’s a guilty pleasure. I discern because while I enjoyed Ghost Team One and recognize this is an awful film, I don’t wish to see it again; I already got exactly the amount of pleasure I’m going to get from this film. So, is there guilt involved? I don’t think there should be for a one-time dip into this particular pool. So, I’m offering the term Disposable One-time Happinesses or “DOH”s for short. These are things you know are bad for you; you enjoyed them once all the same, but have no inclination to re-expose that particular scab.
Ghost Team One is kinda what would happen if you put Harold and Kumar in a Paranormal Activity film. Two relatively unemployable Hispanic twentysomethings, Serg (Carlos Santos) and Brad (J.R. Villarreal), discover they’re living with a ghost. A very sexual ghost. She appears when hormone levels are high. See, now I already like this crap better than Paranormal Activity; those ghosts don’t have any fun at all.
Here’s my impression of a Paranormal Activity ghost: “I told you I wanted this door OPEN! Aw, screw it, just for that I’m slamming it …Meh, I’m bored. I think this pot would look better in the dog dish … what are people asleep AGAIN?! Geez. I’ll be in the basement rattling things.”
In the wake of an all-night blowout, Serg and Brad discover Fernanda (Fernanda Romero), best described as an otherworld groupie. She’s totally into filming the undead. A project is born. El Club de Scooby here doesn’t seem to have an objective other than 
documentation and maybe a little discovery time. Fernanda is totally hot, which brings out the divining rod in both Brad and Serg. Serg is a relative novice to the scoring game while Brad ends up making it with the ghost. The latter leads to an interesting social faux pas discussion: if you make it with a ghost but don’t realize it’s not your girlfriend, is that cheating?
The sexual atmosphere never ceases in this film. Ghost Team One is, unfortunately for the most part, shy on visuals – that is until a very disturbing conclusion. There’s constant blurring and implied masturbation at every turn. Not sure I’ve seen a film with more tissues. There’s even a goo rag. Look, I’m not proud of printing that. And I’m sorry for offending, but if you’re gonna bother, you should know what you’re getting into.
Dos hombres discover un fantasma
Quien es into orgasma
Playin’ private dick
With a happenin’ chic
Careful, I don’t think that’s plasma
Rated R, 83 Minutes
D: Ben Peyser, Scott Rutherford
W: Andrew Knauer, Arthur Pielli
Genre: Paranormal Orgasmity
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Teenage boys
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Their dates
