Oh my, did this one turn. For Act I, this western was dull as prairie dirt. The ennui crop came in nice this season, di’n’t it? Miguel (Eduardo Noriega) and Sarah (January Jones) have mundane New Mexico territory rancher lives. The have a shack, a dog and dirt. They have a running feud with Hugh (Stephen Root), the banker, who is an absolute prick when they ask for a return on their investment. They have a running feud with the local sheriff, who is a jackass. They have a running feud with the local preacher, Prophet Josiah (Jason Isaacs). Ok, let me stop right there. How do you get to be a prophet? Do you need a flock? Are you declared? Do you declare yourself? Can I just say, “I’m the prophet Steel Frog!” Is there profit in being a prophet?
Sweetwater implies that the bad luck of the Ramirez family is influenced by Miguel’s Hispanic heritage (and attitudes surrounding such). Oh, hot dog, is this an immigration awareness pic, isn’t it? Anyhoo, Hispanic or no, Sarah and Miguel are a boring and frustrated couple who seem to be very alone. As their frustration goes, so goes ours. It’s hard to know what we’re 
rooting for here. We kinda want them to be happy, but there isn’t a path to happiness. We got a path to destitution; we got a path to whoredom; we got a path to loneliness. The trail to happiness? Why, no, sir. That’s two counties over.
Speaking of two counties over, Sheriff Jackson (Ed Harris) dances his way into Act II. He’s tracking the disappearance of two well-connected jokers. The governor has long fingers in New Mexico territory. First thing the new Sheriff does is beat the crap out of the local law who gave our Ramirez pair a bad time. Sweetwater doesn’t explain why dancing, long-hair Ed is beating a man to a pulp, it just lets it happen. In fact, Sheriff Jackson consistently acts as if he knows the screenplay but has to collect evidence to justify his more off-color bits of legal enforcement.
And then Miguel disappears. WTF? Hey, this film isn’t about immigration at all. Oh, in that case, I might like it. “Like” might not be the best word for it. Sweetwater has the greatest entertainment discrepancy between Act I and Act III of any 2013 film, bar none. Unfortunately, you have to see all of Act I to understand the power of Act III. Yeah, that blows. I know. I’ll live.
Hollywood’s West can be dull
Fireworks, intrigue: set, null
Not on your life
Do you anger the wife
Then you’ll see explosives in full
Rated R, 95 Minutes
D: Logan Miller
W: Logan Miller, Noah Miller
Genre: The morally challenged West
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Feminists
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Preachers
