It took fewer than five minutes for Ride Along to have an obvious continuity error. You don’t really have to be paying close attention to say, “wasn’t this at night?” Speaking of failure to pay close attention, non-Oscar films continue to show up in January as if there’s an audience for them. Unfortunately, there is. And there’s nothing quite like the depression a critic feels going from, say, a week of American Hustle and The Wolf of Wall Street and Her to Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones.
That said, Ride Along isn’t terrible – not depression-inducing terrible, that is. In the tradition of loudmouth, ill-suited black comedians trying their hand at law enforcement, Kevin Hart has taken up the reins for Ride Along, where he plays cop-for-a-day to “prove himself” to would-be-brother-in-law James (Ice Cube). Now Ice Cube looks like a tough cop; I could totally buy him as a detective. Kevin Hart would have trouble convincing me he’s a crossing guard. Therein, of course, lies the humor. I think.
Ben Barber (Hart) is a high school rent-a-cop. He’s aiming his sights bigger even though it matters little to would-be fiancée Angela (Tika Sumpter). She’s more interested that her undercover detective brother James approve of Ben. Um … really? You give decision-making power to your sib regarding your romantic life? I envy the level of trust there, but … you know that’s kinda creepy, right? James is in law enforcement; Ben is a cop-wannabe. There should be some mutual ground here, yes? I suppose if they saw eye-to-eye literally or figuratively, we’d have no need for Kevin Hart to act like a jackass. We learn early on that Ben is into war gaming, his on-
line handle being “Black Hammer,” which doubles as the pet name for his penis. I have no comment here; I just wanted to put “penis” into a sentence.
James gives Ben exactly one day to prove his mettle by allowing him to be his partner, hence the title. James wants to rid Ben from his life and hazes him not unlike the way James Woods hazes Michael J. Fox in The Hard Way. Ben, only too eager to play cop and defensive about his diminutive stature, wants to prove himself and we see him fail again and again and again in even the simplest of police duties. Mostly, Hart acts the fool — constantly, not unlike Chris Tucker and Eddie Murphy before him. Why, even the “proving himself” scene is straight out of Beverly Hills Cop. Strip club, two shooters, neither has a good idea of why he’s robbing a strip club, and one loud mouth comedian stealing focus. Who robs a strip club? And why? I suppose it would be funny to me if I didn’t actually imagine this character trying to be a real cop. Combining the heart of a coward with the ego of a pop star, Ben would die within the first week of duty. And then you’d name an overpass after him.
Hart’s trademarks as a comedian are exaggerated bluster and brutal honesty. I could have used more of the latter. I don’t like authority figures approaching situations with a chip on their collective shoulder. I think that’s formula for bad decision-making, which, of course, is replete here. I have to forgive because it’s a comedy. Did I laugh? Not really. I don’t think I would have let him marry my sister, but that’s up to her, not me.
♪Why do fools pose as cops?
Why does Tyler dress in drag?
It’s just not funny as a gag.
Why do they pose as cops?
(Fools pose as cops)
Why does Franco act likes hit lit?
Why does Nic Cage always have a fit?
Why does Michael Bay blow up shit?
Why do fools pose as cops?
Why do they pose as cops? ♫
Rated PG-13, 100 Minutes
D: Tim Story
W: Greg Coolidge, Jason Mantzoukas, Phil Hay & Matt Manfredi
Genre: Comedian proving grounds
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The current burgeoning comedian who will take this role in ten years
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Real cops
♪ Parody Inspired by “Why Do Fools Fall in Love?”
