You know this review is an exercise in futility, right? I mean, how many of you out there are actually on the fence about Dumb and Dumber To? “Will the sequel have the same integrity as the original?” 99% of you decided whether or not you’re going to see this film as soon as you heard it was coming out.
But, hey, I promised to review everything, so here goes: I don’t like this film. It’s not a hatred like I have for Tyler Perry directed films or pathetic Right Wing slam jobs or Christian message pictures, and -to be honest- I did laugh out loud twice, but given this particular ‘art’ regresses culture rather than advancing it, it better be freaking hilarious. And it isn’t.
For the uninitiated, both of you out there, Dumb and Dumber To is the two decades removed sequel to film about a pair of morons who make Homer Simpson look like Albert Einstein by comparison. Maybe it’s me, but I find something terribly sad about middle-aged idiots; I guess I expect them to indulge in self-destructive habits or spouting ridiculously short-sighted and one-dimensional political philosophies – I mean, the only time I see them in real life is at Tea Party rallies. The fact that these guys don’t actually indulge in drugs, alcohol, religion or politics makes me wonder why more normal IQ-challenged folk can’t spend their days with harmless, innocuous pursuits in mind.
D&DT is a classic innocuous pursuit. There is nothing in this film to challenge any mind capable of understanding it. The film opens with Lloyd (Jim Carrey) copping to a twenty year practical joke on Harry (Jeff Daniels). The latter has been visiting the former in a nursing home, urging him for years to break his catatonic funk. He does so with a “GOTCHA!” [insert laugh here] The extra value of this scene is to set up a catheter joke, an extended catheter-removal joke and a running gag about Harry wiping Lloyd’s ass.
Tell you what, I’ll skip to the stuff that I found funny – Lloyd collects two decades of mail, which amounts to about five pieces, one of which, “hey, I’ve been accepted to Arizona State!” FWIW, in my circles, the school is known as “Camp Arizona State.” Then ex-girlfriend Kathleen Turner (yes, that Kathleen Turner, sigh. Try not to think about Body Heat when you watch this film. I couldn’t) asks the boys to track 
down her daughter, given up for adoption twenty years ago. The boys examine the envelope carefully; there’s an extended travel sequence; there’s house identification; there’s nervousness at approaching the door. And it opens to reveal … Kathleen Turner. The fellas couldn’t tell the addressee from the addresser.
I could have used more jokes along those lines and fewer about stink palming to score free alcohol.
At the end of the day, what bothers me most about Dumb and Dumber To is the fantasy sequences for Lloyd and Harry. They both have wild fantasies; Lloyd envisions himself as Richard Gere from An Officer and a Gentleman. Harry sees himself as Hef – and both see the alternate universe version of his partner as a loser. It’s bad enough that both of you have dreams; I really wouldn’t have guessed that. It’s frustrating knowing both men have envisioned these alter egos for years and yet remained in idiot practical joke mode, never once attempting to capture even a small part of the life that would make him the happiest? On top of that, it seems like you really don’t think much of the guy you hang out with, forever. It’s like discovering Beavis secretly hates Butt-head. Geez, that’s no good. All you’ve got is one another.
Hey, this isn’t a movie about sad; it’s just what I get from it. There are unfunnier comedies. There are less wholesome ones, too. At the end of the day, you forget this turd and move on. It shan’t linger and neither shall I.
Dumb and Dumber To bed
Dumb and Dumber for mourn
Makes an average man wish
He were indulging in porn
Rated PG-13, 110 Minutes
D: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
W: Sean Anders, Mike Cerrone, Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly, John Morris, Bennett Yellin (Six guys. Really. Six guys for a mild array of fart jokes. Unbelievable.)
Genre: Moron
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who miss Pauly Shore
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People who work with the mentally ill
