Check it out, a counter-Twilight narrative about modern vampires. What We Do in the Shadows had zilch to say about love or burning desire or awkward conversational pauses, but it also wasn’t self-important or humorless. By this account, being different makes vamps a little goofy and anachronistic, not sexy and irresistible. Three guesses as to which version I like better.
What We Do in the Shadows opens with a household meeting; perhaps “intervention” is the better word. Youngster Deacon (Jonathan Brugh), not yet two centuries old, hasn’t done the dishes in five years and the “Chore Wheel” quite clearly points to “Deacon/Dishes.” Viago (co-director Taika Waititi) was something of a Euro-dandy when made immortal; hence it’s hard for him to be confrontational. The gruffer Vladislav (co-director Jemaine Clement) doesn’t seem much to care and the eons-old Nosferatu-like Petyr (Ben Fransham) is beyond household meetings. I would kinda hope so by this point. Immortality must have some perks, right?
Our co-directors both have woman troubles. Viago fell in love decades ago; Vladislav fell out of love about the same time. You could make three films with those two thoughts in the disinfected and plotless world of Twilight. Here, they’re minor personal subplots. The fellas are just regular slobs … who invite people over to eat them. Home is a permanent bachelor pad with increasingly out-of-touch bachelors.
The disinfected manor and manner of the Twilight set is also completely foreign here, and thank goodness; let’s see vamps live their lives, however stupid they may be. Who says age necessarily means moneyed? And why would any of them necessarily know about cable TV or the internet?
There aren’t great guffaws in Shadows. There aren’t great moments in Shadows. The cinematography is a mess and I don’t think the vamps have cleaned themselves or their abode since World War II. Don’t be fooled by the look or the underplay; this is a wonderful film. There is great and subtle dialogue throughout, like when the gang has to get ready for a night on the town (like they’re gonna have a day on the town, duh) — Deacon suggests becoming a vampire makes you sexy, presenting himself as evidence. (Snicker) Then, of course, nobody casts a reflection, so they each have to make rough sketches of one another to show how they look. It’s kinda like a permanent state of tha
t drinking game where you put the card on your forehead.
On the town, there are issues: Wellington, New Zealand doesn’t have a ton of vampire-friendly night clubs. Go figure. The end of the evening comes with a possible rumble – here comes the mortal enemy of the vampire, the werewolf. And the werewolves, of course, are just as pretentious and silly. Is there going to be a rumble? No, the alpha doesn’t want trouble. He scolds a beta for harsh language: “We are ‘Werewolves,’ not ‘Swearwolves.’ “
What We Do in the Shadows is my favorite mockumentary since This Is Spinal Tap. Admittedly, that could be an exaggeration; maybe I just haven’t seen the genre in a while. What the Hell happened to Christopher Guest, anyway? Still, this film is as quotable as any I’ve seen in the past half-year. Cult fans, your evening is waiting.
In the mirror, they can’t be seen
Their way will make norms careen.
They’re not rich, they’re not clean;
They won’t fall for a vacuous teen.
Still enjoying the sparkly sheen?
Go away, my tasteless Philistine
Rated R, 86 Minutes
D: Jemaine Clement, Taika Waititi
W: Jemaine Clement, Taika Waititi
Genre: The lost art of mocumentary
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Twilight detractors
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The Dumb & Dumber set
