If you haven’t been through pain, real pain, you’re never gonna get this Cake and eat it, too. I’m talking disfiguring accident, tragic disease, losing someone close long before his/her time. If one or more of these hasn’t yet happened, you can only guess at what’s going on here and you probably won’t care for it. I urge you — don’t even bother. Stop reading. Go. Go, I say. Live in your tragedy-free world as long as you can.
Now, for the rest of you: First off, I’m sorry. And I’ve been there. This might be more like a therapy session than a movie review. Claire (Jennifer Aniston), have you something to add? I see your chronic pain support group booted you after some fairly callous remarks about Nina’s recent suicide. What’s that? Nina (Anna Kendrick) appears to you as a ghost now. Is this a drug-induced hallucination? Because we’ve all been there. And, let’s face it – you do take a lot of drugs. Yes, that’s my clinical analysis.
I know you don’t want to talk about your accident. I don’t blame you. But it’s a big deal. I mean, presumably not so long ago you’re hot, married, and fully ambulatory with a son. Now? No husband, no son, you can’t sit up in a car and you look
like Laura Linney. Sorry to be blunt. No, no, go ahead and cry; I wouldn’t want to look like Laura Linney, either. I kid. I kid. Therapy humor.
Now, forgive me, but don’t you think the selfish irascible loner routine has become something of a cliché? You’ve alienated everybody in your life, have you not? Why does your housekeeper Silvana (Adriana Barraza) stay with you? You’re mean to her and her don’t pay her squat. Why do you think she’s tied to you? And why do you think you’re having hallucinations about Nina? Wait. You visited her house? When did this happen? I see, you, essentially, blackmailed the counselor who kicked you out of group to find her address, then you showed up at her house posing as a former owner. And her husband (Sam Worthington) recognized you and went along with it.
You’re both kinda f***ed up. In fact, this movie is a bit f***ed up. Yes, that too is my clinical analysis.
Editor’s note: Anna Kendrick, would you haunt me, too? Because that would be awesome. Heck, you don’t even have to be dead. I could stand a spectreless Anna poltergeist.
Claire’s abrasive personality offends
For leading with massive pain she tends
These charms in decay
If she keeps this way
I doubt she’s gonna make any “Friends.”
Rated R, 102 Minutes
D: Daniel Barnz
W: Patrick Tobin
Genre: Movies for the voluntarily quarantined
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Those who life has cheated
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Lucky people
