Doesn’t proof dispel faith? Proof of the divine, for instance, negates faith that the divine exists, does it not? You don’t have “faith” that 2+2=4, do you? Hence, proof of Heaven might just negate Heaven and therefore negate God, yes? No? I remember the first time heard that argument as stated by Douglas Adams, who worded it so much better than I did. I have not come to discuss proof of the afterlife, but instead offer proof that Christians still seem defensive about their faith — but their art is getting better.
In the 724th Christianity themed film of 2014, Pastor Todd Burpo (“Burpo,” really? “Why, yes, Pastor Burpo met yesterday with Father Belcher and Reverend Dryheave”) lives in a Nebraska town so clean and wholesome [read: white bread], Salt Lake City is jealous. It’s the kind of place where citizens are good ol’ folk and the pastor often accept goods and services in lieu of cash — you know, Fictionville. Dressed a shade below business casual, Pastor Burpo (Greg Kinnear) really relates with his congregation. I’m not quite sure why everybody is dressed fancier than he is, but I shouldn’t have questioned because once he breaks his leg, every Sunday becomes Casual Friday.
Living the G-Rated life proves more difficult than it seems as Todd’s cherubic boy Colton (Connor Corum) almost dies of appendicitis. While on the table, Colton has an out-of-body experience that Heaven Is for Real, including encounters with Jesus, angels and deceased relatives. Bewilderingly, this sends Todd into an existential crisis of faith, but, luckily, gives the players in the movie something to do for the rest of the 100 minutes. Now you might think that “kid almost dies and sees heaven, then they all talk about it” isn’t much of a plot, but it’s freaking The Sting compared to a genre which recently promoted the plot points of “men take extended vows of chastity” and “freshman debates existence of 
God with a bully.” I hope that one day Christians will indeed realize that the cinematic depiction of faith is hardly limited to films that explicitly talk about it.
Todd’s crisis of faith was actually a breath of fresh air for this tiresome genre. Here we have a holy man who talks of Heaven every day, and yet is somehow unconvinced when his son shows him signs. There’s even a brief round-table discussion of “why are you uncomfortable with the thought that Colton visited Heaven?” It’s a great question, especially when addressing true believers, and I wish it had been explored further. But that isn’t what happens in films like these.
Instead of discussion, we get thinly veiled Christian defensiveness. On the playground, Cassie Burpo (Lane Styles) is incensed when punks ridicule her brother’s Godtalk. Cassie punches the punks out. You see what this is, right? This isn’t a sister protecting her younger brother; this is a Christian defending faith. 2.1 billion Christians in the world and you still need to be reassured of your devotion. Unbefreakinglievable. And what is her father’s [read: the Pastor’s] response? “Good for her!” This is a moment in a lily white town where there are no rival religions to speak of. Let me ask this: what if the girl doing the punching had been Muslim? Or Buddhist? Or, dare I say, a Scientologist?! Would we still be encouraged to root for her? No, I think the message here is it’s OK to pound the heathen, but we haven’t really thought about another scenario.
About this time, the hospital debt starts rackin’ up. The Burpos aren’t made of money, of course. This would have been a wonderful moment to insert a comment about Obamacare. Nebraska wasn’t on the firing lines of the hate for the ACA, but it certainly was/is in the “this isn’t for us” club. What’s the argumentative alternative to Obamacare in local communities? Why, I believe it’s: your local church and other regional societies can help with hospital bills and such. Here is a perfect time to show us how the community rallies around that idea. The pastor himself is experiencing financial woes. No, we’re not gonna go there? Oh. OK. FWIW, the movie ends without any resolution to the medical debt amassed.
Don’t get me wrong, Heaven Is for Real is a huge improvement on films like God’s Not Dead. It isn’t as smarmy or cocky and makes no effort to create and destroy a straw man. And yet, the major flaws of the theme are still 100% present. One of the biggest letdowns in Heaven is another collective depiction of Jesus as a blue-eyed-gold-highlighted-tanned-alabaster-skinned velvet painting cliché. Jesus is still white, is he? This one really burns me. No matter we learn or what we can conclude, Jesus Christ -who was born in the Middle East among dark-eyed, olive skinned folks- apparently can forever and unashamedly be depicted as the lost Bee Gee. At least that explains the “Stayin’ Alive” stuff.
♪Ooh, Christian, you’re preaching Hell
Ooh, Heaven is a place on cell
You say all Christians are just swell
Then make a film so forgeta-bell
Ooh, Heaven is a place on cell♫
Rated PG, 99 Minutes
D: Randall Wallace
W: Chris Parker, Randall Wallace
Genre: Gimme a ‘G!’ Gimme an ‘O!’ Gimme a ‘D!’ What’s that spell?
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Shallow Christians
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Non-Christians
♪ Parody inspired by “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”
