Few films reveal themselves in one moment. Let me desciribe the scene that pulled the veil on Panic 5 Bravo. In an effort to gain useless information, a trio of American paramedics withhold care from a Mexican gunshot victim. The victim then goes into cardiac arrest. One of the EMTs takes the neck brace off the Mexican to –presumably- clear an airwave and check for a pulse. The paramedic who checks the pulse (the pulse can only be felt in the neck, right?) declares there to be none and the trio just stares at one another, dumbfounded.
“Hmmm, if only we could do something, you know, use some sort of tool or skill set…”
“Yeah if only we weren’t trained medical professionals…”
“Inside a fully stocked ambulance…”
Um, Kuno Becker, the next time you write a film, try to do ounce of research, ok? Like, if you’re writing a film about American paramedics, here’s a novel idea – take a life saving class or two. Maybe ask a real life paramedic how he would handle a situation like this. Because while I know very little on the subject, I’m pretty sure, “he has no pulse!” does not resolutely curtail medical care.
The half-star here is for the set-up. An ambulance with four paramedics is chilling at the Arizona-Mexico border. An alarm comes from the Mexican side. The group can literally see a man writhing in pain just yards away. The foursome is caught in a dilemma – go 
out of their jurisdiction, nay their country, to help an injured man (which is illegal, apparently) or stay put, all is well.
I don’t know the actual jurisdictional issues involved here; I assumed writer/director/”star” Kuno Becker did some research, but given his knowledge of paramedics, that seems a very poor assumption. I’m guessing his research on the legality is as solid as molasses. But, ok, whether or not you’ve made up the dilemma – it exists. Would you do something illegal to save a life? That’s an excellent question.
And thus ends anything to do with excellence. The four collect the shot man, do next-to-nothing medically and head back for the border when their vehicle is t-boned by evil. It’s very important that we not know who exactly rammed the ambulance – all Mexicans are vile scumbags, see? The film doesn’t seem to mince opinions here. Alex (Kuno) is now American; there’s redemption for his soul. Otherwise, we’re only too happy to imagine all Mexicans as drug lords, drug mules or random pawns out to thieve. Is this what border people really think? No wonder we have an immigration crisis.
I wanted to believe in the nobility of acquiring the gunshot victim and helping him out, but the rich kid EMT (Dan Rovzar) is only too happy to torture the victim. Seriously. And this is before these idiots needed information. You were gung-ho about doing something you believed to be quite illegal just so you could stick your finger in his bullet hole to make him scream. Then the bad guys show up to remind us that 50 feet from U.S. soil is a pit of lawlessness so vile good cannot escape. You cross the Mexican border, you may as well be entering the gates of Hell itself. There is not but evil here – the only winning move is to let Mexico deal with its own.
I wish I were kidding about this, but such was the prevailing mood of the film. When a character makes a disparaging remark about Mexico, no matter how bigoted or ugly, not one of the others complains, not even the Mexican born Alex. Then paramedic Bobby (Papile Aurora) uses her stage to condemn U.S. government compliance in Mexican drug –running. So … hmmm, we hate all Mexicans? All wetbacks should be shot on sight? To aid Mexico or Mexicans or even visit the country for fifteen seconds is to invite evil home for a permanent stay. Who wrote this? George Zimmerman?
Panic 5 Bravo is among the worst films I’ve ever seen. Not just because it was cheap, poorly acted and poorly staged (95% of the film takes place inside the ambulance), but for it’s ability to demonstrate a weird principal – that in a very limited space, you can still show an unlimited number of things to hate. P5B is certainly bottom-10 material, although I’m reluctant to give it a top three selection for lack of distribution. Yes, it does make a difference how many people you roped in to seeing your awful POV. At this point, I’m content never to see Kuno again.
Four EMTs disobey an order
With assessments most untowarder
Saving a life
While inviting strife
Your bigotry crosses the border
Rated R, 84 Minutes
D: Kuno Becker
W: Kuno Becker
Genre: Mexican fun
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Jan Brewer
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Real life paramedics
