When you see enough films, you understand there are levels of phoning it in. There’s the X-Men level in which you throw a ton of money at a sequel and hope something redeeming comes through along with the special effects. Below that is the Twilight level of phone-in in which the underwritten sequels remain true to the original vision, no matter how awful that original vision is. And then there are sequels like Think Like a Man Too, which is as cynical a cash grab as a politician endorsing Nike.
Most movies are burdened by explaining what was going on. Think Like a Man Too decided to forego the silly formality of exposition or cohesive plot. It wasn’t that we couldn’t tell what was happening – eve of a Vegas wedding – it’s more that the 
film (correctly) assumed that we wouldn’t give an Elvis sequin among the poker chips about being more than an extended sitcom episode instead of a distinctive production. The original Think talked of a war among the sexes inspired by Steve Harvey’s manbook tell all. Here, the narration (is it me or does Kevin Hart’s voiceover sound like Chris Rock?) seemed to imply something similar – yet inconsistent – that the guys and gals had formed teams in a competition to see who could have the best night on a scale only known to the players. The sports metaphor is a running theme throughout the film, which might make an ounce of sense if anybody in the film at any time said or implied anything to the effect of, “by the way, this is a competition.” Instead, Think Too thought too little and explained too little. Or didn’t care. That’s what I’m banking on.
Think Like a Man Too feels like an episode of “The Love Boat” – couples show up, minor problems are introduced, then some hijinks, then a bigger problem, then a quaint and unsatisfying resolution. All of it is fake. Michael and Candace (Terrence Jenkins and Regina Hall) are getting married, but his mom (Jenifer Lewis) is a pain-in-the-ass; Dominic and Lauren (Michael Ealy and Taraji P. Henson) both have potentially promising careers in different cities; Bennett and Tish (Gary Owen and Wendi McLendon-Covey) are boring … and white. Yes, these are all presented as problems. They’re not real problems, of course. They’re “Love Boat” problems. They can all be solved in between commercials. The biggest problem with this potential franchise is that this is a couples film and the unattached 
guy is played by Kevin Hart, who has grown bigger than his co-workers. Hence, this is a film in which Kevin is allowed to behave like a jackass at will while the “serious” undercelebrated peers perform trite worthless drama around him. It doesn’t work.
This film had about enough energy for about 25 minutes It wasn’t good energy, mind you. It was just energy. And that energy was sadly absent during the rest of the film, and it showed in very poor writing. For instance, at one point early on, Jeremy (Jerry Ferrara) introduces marijuana-laced breath strips. Later, the women all take them on their party bus. And then, nothing becomes of it. Nothing. Never referred to again. Never once mentioned that the women might all be on drugs. And what did everybody do during their drugged up bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas? Pool, strip club, gambling. Wow, slow down. Can you do all of that in Las Vegas? Are you sure? And yet, the coup de grâce was yet to come.
Wait for it.
Seriously.
Wait for it.
Think Too culminates in the guys and gals missing their marriage tee off time. And this becomes a major controversy. I kid you not. The action devolved into a round of “How could you?!” “We can’t get married now!” Oh yeah, because we all know how hard it is to get married on short notice in Las Vegas. It’s all forgivable if you laugh. I didn’t.
♪Oooooooh
Think, think, think, think
Thiiiiiink like a man.
Oh, how you tried to wonder what’s like
Evaluating everyone you see
Gruntin’, fantasizin’, say “who won the game?”
Best part is standing up to pee
Think like a man
“Check out my new van”
Think like a man, in part
Sports? Be a fan
Lonely? Join a clan.
Avoid being Kevin Hart♫
Rated PG-13, 106 Minutes
D: Tim Story
W: Keith Merryman & David A. Newman
Genre: Here, have some more Kevin Hart
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The Society of the Promotion and Advancement of Kevin Hart
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Do you care about substance? Humor?
♪ Parody inspired by “Walk Like A Man”
