Is there a good reason why we’ve upped the ante on the grotesque? I know, I know. I’m the guy who says a movie has got to be something you can’t get on TV. But just because Se7en exists doesn’t mean that kind of sensationalism is a goal. I find it kind of sick, actually. What’s wrong with you that you need to write dismemberment into a screenplay? Sometimes, and I need to be clear here – sometimes, killing is enough.
Matt Scudder – really, his name is “Scudder?” (Liam Neeson) has a great 1991 look – unkempt longish hair and a three-pronged beard; he looks like he’s auditioning for a job as a Major League closer. Instead he’s a drunk cop. The kind of drunk cop who shoots perps in the street. I’d say fearless, but the screenplay explains he was too drunk to be scared; my take is: have you seen the man move? He’s already got that bow-legged Harrison Ford amble down pat. I’m not sure he’d win a race against the late Philip Seymour Hoffman.
After some key shootings, we move to 1999. Matt is no longer a cop; he’s an unlicensed P.I. which legally carries an equal amount of weight as a volunteer middle school hall monitor. But he’s still badass and gets hooked on a case where sadistic criminals kidnap the wives of druglords, demand ransom and then kill anyway. And kill meanly. With torture and rape and chopping.
See, here’s where you lose me. This is now beyond serial killer territory and into war criminal territory. Congratulations movie, you’ve made me feel sorry for drug kingpins. And what’s that about? Did you bet your friend you could make an audience care for a dealer? So there’s two serial killers specializing in kidnap/rape (the worst kind of criminal in my 
book); OK, there’s your evil. It’s a pretty ugly evil – yeah, I guess I’ll be rooting for recovering alcoholic unprofessional Liam Neeson.
Now just in case you weren’t inclined to pick the chaotic good Neeson over the demon spawn, Tombstones also threw in a sickle cell homeless kid savant, TJ (Astro. Yes, the actor’s name is “Astro.” We went over this in Earth to Echo). Aw, and this adorable little scamp wants to play detective, too. It’s kinda like Cop and ½ meets Bad Lieutenant.
A Walk Among the Tombstones is notable for the sensational and little else. Now, I actually do not remember a single shot of something awful. The implication of severed body parts is everywhere, but the actual screen image is missing. For me, I don’t care. Show it or don’t, you’ve put it out there. I don’t need to see more than a little blood to be sickened and repulsed. This is the kind of film I more-or-less followed with interest while it was on screen, but the sooner I wipe it from my memory, the better off I’ll be. Two stars and falling. Don’t push unless you have a stomach for this stuff.
Liam’s cares not to be cool
Chasing evil six shades below cruel
Strolls by the buried
Avoiding those tarried
He already looks like a ghoul
Rated R, 113 Minutes
D: Scott Frank
W: Scott Frank
Genre: Ugly
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who need to see serial killing taken “to the next level”
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Do you wish you could un-see things?
