One of the reasons I never pursued stardom, other than obvious lack of talent of course, was the Entourage perception. I imagined myself surrounded by sycophantic leeches, sucking me dry financially and emotionally, constantly sponging self-worth from my indoor pool, 360 degree fish tank observatory, octagonal reclining theater, pillow room and personal tactile dome.
Did I mention my 200 foot indoor circular slide? And my tow-rope to take you back to the top? Hmmm. Maybe an elevator.
Oh yeah, Entourage. Yeah, I didn’t want one. Funny thing – it’s far easier not to have an Entourage than to have one. Go figure. Well, I might have been wrong about the nature of professional yes-man mooches. This movie (and I assume the HBO show) supports the idea that an Entourage is a group of close-knit entrepreneurs, each leech, in turn, looking to score his own, but ultimately returning to the camaraderie of the collective. I suppose one can choose to believe that.
The talent here is Vince (Adrien Grenier). He’s a movie star. He hosts clothing-optional Ibiza yacht parties in his spare time, which seems … often. These parties are crashed by his select group of idiots – his “manager” Eric (Kevin Connolly), his driver Turtle (Jerry Ferrara), and his Clint Howard [read: untalented brother] Johnny (Kevin Dillon) … his Entourage. Weird, actually, these four have adventures, but the drama is almost entirely driven by Vince’s former agent and now studio head Ari (Jeremy Piven). Agent, of course, is the best use of Jeremy Piven. Few men are born car salesman, but that’s Jeremy to a T-Bird. Ari’s first move as studio head is to indulge Vince – you want to direct? And you’ve never directed? Here, have a hundred million dollars.
Four months later, Vince
is over budget and Ari is required to visit the Texan investor (Billy Bob Thornton) and subsequently deal with his over-indulged son, Travis (Haley Joel Osment). For whatever else Entourage is, this is Osment’s best work since The Sixth Sense. No, it isn’t his only work since The Sixth Sense. The only honest drama in Entourage is the back-and-forth between the wired Ari and the money-withholding son. Sure, they gave the other actors something to do – Travis wants to cut Johnny from the film, Eric has an inexplicable ability to bed every hot woman he encounters and Turtle just wants a date with mixed martial arts champion Ronda Rousey.
Entourage is just full o’ lessons for these folk who worship at the altar of our Lord and Savior $, but they all involve doing an ounce of research before you pursue a relationship. You know, you might explore if your potential GF has a fiancée or a roommate who you’re also banging or, say, can and will deadlift you and toss you through a pane glass window if you say something stupid.
I’m 100% sure that all of these lessons come off better if you watched the show. However, unlike Veronica Mars, there is legitimate entertainment here for people
who’ve never seen Entourage. Great entertainment? Well, let’s not get silly.
And in the meantime, there is namedropping. What, was there an open call for “who wants to play himself in a movie?” There’s no point in me doing it here. Suffice to say if you watch television, you’ll recognize many faces. At what point do you suppose you’ve had enough cameos? 10? 50? 100? If you spend over half the film acknowledging and identifying “Who’s that?” it can’t be good for plot continuity. OTOH, this is a film about celebrity, and there’s no better backdrop to reinforce the milieu than celebrity itself, no?
♪Well Russell Wilson has a big O line
And Marky Mark had the funky bunch
But posse you in luck cause I do shine
Just hold to me and wait for lunch
You got some acres in your corner now
And a new ride for each day
The champagne, servants and money flow
And I’ll you gotta do is play my way
Vincent, the actor, Sir
I’ll back your every plea
Let me hang around and concur
Ain’t you glad to have a friend like me?♫
Rated R, 104 Minutes
D: Doug Ellin
W: Doug Ellin
Genre: HBO –> Hollywood –> HBO
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Fans of the show
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Indie people
♪ Parody inspired by “Friend Like Me”
