I have this image in my head of a ghost jumping a shark. Not Ghost Shark. That’s something different. I mean some sort of spectral entity pulling a Fonzie and actually waterski jumping a “live” shark.
So remember the nerdy guys from Insidious 2? Angus Sampson & Leigh Whannell? Well the Siskel of them (Whannell) is a real life writer (art imitates life!) and now he’s a real life director, too, having cut his teeth in a genre owned by the guy he’s replacing. Isn’t there some show biz adage about not following the headline act? Yeah, that.
Whannell isn’t terrible; he’s just new to this and it shows. Like the failure to give us an establishing shot that our central hauntee Quinn (Stefanie Scott) is not only next door to the boy who’s gaga for her; they share a wall. Oh. That might have been nice to point out before the big scare where we discover her knock-knock game is being played with a ghoul.
Speaking of which, this phantom seems kinda nice for a while. I mean, sure, he leaves oil-based footprints everywhere. Would it kill you to wipe your feet? Apparently, yes. How do you housetrain the dead, anyway? But we see him make contact with Quinn by waving at her before the big audition and then waving at her in the street. Aw, he just wants to be friends. Yeah, the second one distracts her and then she gets run over, but is that really the ghost’s fault? Then he starts coming to her room and playing games. It could be he just has boundary issues … and plays a little rough.
Insidious: Chapter 3 is a prequel, which is odd because Insidious: Chapter 2 already gave us background information. Ah, I see, instead of background on the evil entity, this film gave us background on secondary characters it’s gambling we care about. I already mentioned the nerds. Now, remember that old mystic? No, not the guy. The woman in I3 is Lin Shaye. If you can’t remember her from either of the first two Insidiouses, you might remember Lin Shaye as the nasty exchange-of-favors landlady from Kingpin. That’s not the role you want people to remember. So in this film, we get to learn her origin story, because, well, honestly, I don’t know … but I’m guessing it beats her Kingpin origin story.
Quinn seeks out seer Elise (Shaye) to help her find mom, lost to cancer not long ago. Long story short – Elise is retired and doesn’t want to, but the spirits won’t leave her alone. Everybody past retirement age should have a chance to say, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” After that point, the movie becomes hers. There’s really something swee
t about that thought; Lin Shaye has 180 credits to her acting career, the vast majority of which are parts titled “Nurse” and “Woman.” This coming-out-of-retirement to do battle might be the biggest role of her life.
And what genre is more memorable for the deserving-but-underused actor or actress than a horror sequel?
Dermot Mulroney plays the clueless father here, thus striking a blow for equality – he single-handedly proves with this role that men can get old and useless in Hollywood the same as women. You go, girl, er, guy.
This film lacks the punch of the first two. It’s not terrible, but the menacing feel comes and goes; we’ve been spoiled to date. By the end, I think I stood a chance against the undead. Put me in, coach; I’m ready to face evil!
♪Specters in the night exchanging greetings
Standing out of sight in search of meetings
Waiting cautiously until the day is through
Something in your way was slightly creepy
Something in your knock now I’m not sleepy
Something in your prints made out of goo
Specter in the night
One lonely “people” he was hoping for a fright
Up to the moment when he tried to take my bod
The dead playing God
Who knows how he cared
That entity we shared
Could it be I’ve fallen for my specter in the night? ♫
Rated PG-13, 97 Minutes
D: Leigh Whannell
W: Leigh Whannell
Genre: Bad roommate
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Old mystics with delusions of grandeur
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: James Wan homies
♪ Parody inspired by “Strangers In the Night”
