I haven’t had such a repellant aesthetic reaction to a picture since … I dunno. Something Rob Zombie I imagine. The Boxtrolls is an ugly film. Hideous. Revolting. Repugnant. Get out the thesaurus, you’re going to need it.
Claymation is supposed to be cute. Especially English Claymation, what with Aaaaaardman studios and such. Villains are penguins and bulldogs, not creatures too ugly for Oliver! Even the heroes are found wanting in Boxtrolls. Eggs (voice of Isaac Hempstead Wright) is not repellant, but that’s the best I can say of our protagonist. Given the choice between he and anything Harryhausen, I go double H, hold the bacon.
All right, I’m done ranting about the cinematography. There are far worse films to expose your children to. Boxtrolls themselves are sorta-clever mechanically-inclined anxiety-ridden sewer dwellers. They’re turd ugly, yet pleasant by nature. It is the former sin that gets them hunted. I’m suddenly reminded of the Paul Reiser routine about why we eat chickens and not dolphins. Long story short — because they’re ugly! When in peril, a Boxtroll’s go-to move is to collapse into the box that doubles as both shelter and clothing. The trolls are named after their boxes, hence “Eggs,” whose parental figure is “Fish,” and pals around with “Shoe,” “Fragile,” and “Contents Under Pressure.” Actually, I made up the last one, but it can’t be far off.
The villain here is Archibald Snatcher (Ben Kingsley), who portrays the very soul of the commonplace English rogue – grotesque, over-industrious, and looking to raise his station through hard work. How vile! The town bigwigs, I
love this part, do nothing but have cheese parties. What is it with the English and cheese?! The “White Hats” sit in closed quarters and sample rare cheeses. Yup. That’s what they do. It sounds funnier than it plays out, unfortunately. Archibald, a “Red Hat,” leads the crusade against the fabled Boxtroll monsters. He’s been promised that once he’s disposed of every last one, he gets to king his checker or whatever. Well, he gets a white hat is what happens. There’s some good play around the fact that the white hats have no intention whatsoever of swelling their ranks, especially to one so pedestrian – in England, class still matters, don’t it?
Eggs is a boy. The Boxtrolls found him orphaned as a baby. There. That’s all you need to know. Snatcher kills trolls. Trolls hide from Snatcher. Boy thinks he’s a troll. The message is better than the look.
My, this Claymation is dreadful. Ugh. Why am I watching this?
Under city sewers is a mess
Creatures that frighten and stress
“Destroy!” the town ruled
But don’t you be fooled
They’re even uglier than you’d guess
Rated PG, 96 Minutes
D: Graham Annable, Anthony Stacchi
W: Irena Brignull, Adam Pava
Genre: Unpleasanimation
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The highly tolerant
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Anybody who’s seen Wallace and Grommit
