Boy, you just never know, do you? You start out trying to buy a prostitute’s freedom; you end up in a personal war with the East Coast Russian Mafia. Who’da thunk it?
Luckily for him (and us), Bob (Denzel Washington) – I’ve never met anybody who looked less like a “Bob,” have you? — yes, lucky for us, Robert here seems pretty good at handling himself. He brings a stopwatch to his vigilantism. That’s some kinda confidence, huh? He also has a good feel for turning his workplace into the Home Alone Depot.
Bob is a strange combination of amiable loner. His existence is Spartan to say the very least – his apartment has neither decorations, nor frivolity of any kind. It barely has any light. He takes a bus where he goes, which seems odd for a vigilante. Bob doesn’t sleep much, so he spends his free time reading at the local diner and meticulously arranging his utensils like an autism patient. He’s stoic and reticent, choosing words carefully at all times. And yet, he’s friendly when you give him a chance. I might find that a little creepy, but he carves out limited friendships with co-worker Ralphie (Johnny Skourtis) and underage Russian prostitute Teri (Chloë Grace Moretz). It is the latter where the trouble happens. Don’t cross the Russian mob, ok? Especially Teddy the badass.
Teddy, really? You’ve named a Russian heavy “Teddy.” What is with the names here, people? “Vy yes, dis eez my enforcer, ‘Teddy.’ Da. Da, it used to be ‘Timmy’ and ‘Gary’ before heem.” Anyhoo, Teddy (Marton Csokas) jumps the gun while posing as a detective and finds Bob home alone. Well, lookie here, one big s
hootout and this thing can wrap up an hour early. Whaddaya say? And, truthfully, the direction emphasizing potential instead of delivery was very well played – he knows he ain’t a cop; he knows he ain’t Joe Lunchpail, but it isn’t right to start shooting yet.
As The Equalizer unfolds, we slowly learn more and more about our lunchpail hero. That’s kind of how it works – Denzel plays Bob as aggressively humble. Yes, he hasn’t yet merited forklift detail at work, but he can still eliminate armed villains with a corkscrew. I’m very glad the film developed the relationship between Bob and Ralphie, otherwise I’d feel cheated by the quiet nice guy routine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he’s a great guy with a troubled past. Who isn’t? Whatever.
Equalizer left plenty of room for further character exploration. That’s not a bad thing. I look forward to Equalizer, Part 2: The Scales of Balance or Equalizer II: Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others? Equalizer II: Great New Flavor? Equalizer II: Find X? Wait, I’ve got more … too.
Silent Bob is a humble master
Careful, cuz he can create a disaster
With minimal fuss
To rescue by bus
Driver, could you go a little faster?
Rated R, 131 Minutes
D: Antoine Fuqua
W: Richard Wenk
Genre: Teaching bad guys a lesson
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Vigilantes
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Law enforcement
