One sentence. One board. Five words of exposition: “10 years after the collapse.” And then cut to action. I love that. I almost gave this film four stars for that alone. Oh sure, we have a post-apocalyptic slate of cruelty lined up, but you’ll watch and garner – we don’t need to explain it to you. Thank you for that, The Rover. Thank you.
Guy Pearce is one sad sack. He leads the anti-smile parade, glumly reflecting downwards on his shattered existence in a shack that might have been constructed that very morning. This is something I never get about the people who survive after humanity has been destroyed – why not pick a good house? I mean, you’re down to what? one person per zip code? You can’t find one decent upright uninhabited structure? Anyway, Guy un-Smiley is minding his own business contemplating dirt when a car flips itself in front of the shack. The unharmed inhabitants appear to be on the lam and steal Guy’s car. This is a bad move.
Guy is asked for his name several times throughout The Rover. Imdb lists it as “Eric,” but that wasn’t mentioned in the film I watched. “Eric” wants his car back. Period. We get that when one of the film’s rare females quizzes him. She gets no answers, just like we get no answers, but the questions reveal his desire. So does the part when he shoots an (innocent) midget in the head just to continue his quest. Doesn’t that beat all? You survive the apocalypse just to buy it over haggling. After the midget, Pearce acquires Robert Pattison impersonator, Rey (Robert 
Pattison) and the two form a relationship as amiable as can be when a gun is held to your head.
Why is the post-apocalypse always a sausage fest? All evidence shows, not just suggests, shows that women outlive men, but whenever somebody makes a “this is who’s left” film, it always seems to be man dominated. What’s up with that?
The Rover is a stoic, contemplative, methodic study of a what a man holds onto when there’s nothing left for him. Other critics will call it mesmerizing and haunting. I can see where they’d roll with that. It ain’t Road Warrior, but as the Aussiepocalypse goes, The Rover does have a unique flavor if you can stand to taste that long. Check your smile at the door; you won’t be needing it.
In a world that has been left for dead
The pissed-off curmudgeon sees red
He wants the car back
Nothing else, Jack
Days are numbered for any biped
Rated R, 102 Minutes
D: David Michôd (where do I get a hat for an o? How does “The Steel Frôg Blôg” look? Too much?)
W: David Michôd
Genre: Post apocalyptic fun
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Critics
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Fans of pacing, life
