Eventually there will have to be an Avenger soooooo far-fetched that his backstory could only be comic, right? I’m not quite sure how Ant-Man doesn’t fit the bill. It’s a guy who can shrink to the size of an ant and somehow punches with the impact of Evander Holyfield. Oh, and he controls ants. No, I’m serious. Not bees, wasps or dragonflies, ants. He even has a tiny saddle to mount a flying ant. And he doesn’t use weapons. I know. This is a put-on, right? There’s no way any studio would give this character a background of San Quentin State Prison, right?
To be fair, I think most of Ant-Man is tongue-in-cheek. I mean, there’s a Garrett Morris cameo here to remind you exactly how old you are. And our hero is Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd, Avenger. Try that on for size. Paul Rudd, a guy so humble he makes Mark Ruffalo look like Donald Trump, is an Avenger. And, I daresay, he’s perfect. Ant-Man is neither Iron Man nor Thor. Ant-Man is the guy in the back who has to be invited into the Avengers calendar photo:
“Are we missing anybody?”
“Not sure. Wait. Say, where’s Ant-Man?”
“I dunno. Maybe he shrunk. Check the ground.”
“Hey, Ant-Man! Get your thorax over here.”
“Just take the picture already.”
“Can we photo shop him in?”
“TAKE THE PICTURE!”
Scott Lang (Rudd) is a cat burglar. An oft incarcerated cat burglar. He’s a kinder, gentler and righteous felon with some MacGyver-like skillz to be sure, but a felon nonetheless. After San Quentin, work is tough even for those who hold advanced science degrees and Lang is soon canned from his crappy day job. “Baskin-Robbins always finds out.” I think at this point it’s a little much to expect the guy recently released from prison to come up with alimony, but Ant-Man went there so Lang could feel added pressure to resort back to his criminal ways. He is set up by micro-suit scientist Dr. Pym (Michael Douglas) and essentially conned into stealing and test driving the Ant-Man shrink suit. You press a button and *poof* you’re the size of an ant. Another and you’re big again. I think it would have been a riot if the buttons had been labelled “EAT ME” and “DRINK ME,” but that’s a different fiction.
And there seem to be no limits on the micro-tech. After some trials, Ant-Man can successfully leap at a keyhole as a six-footman, shrink mid-air to pass through and return to normal human size before he lands; that is kick-ass and ridiculously fabricated technology. Speaking of which, ok, maybe we can accept that he can still punch with the impact of a full-grown man at thumbnail size, but wouldn’t it be like a pin prick? I mean, part of punching is impacting surface area enough to displace a skull. Doesn’t matter how hard a guy can punch if the impact area is no larger than an acne-filled pore, capisce?
This is what makes Ant-Man fun, of course. Sure, battle with little waspman for soul of mankind with a Thomas electric train set. The plot of this film revolves entirely around the control of the micro-technology, so as long as you get the set-up, you get the plot, too.
Michael Douglas rekindles that, “remember when this guy was a star?” feeling in me. Do you ever get that? Do you ever sit back and remember movie stars of yesteryear and wonder how we collectively came to that decision? Among
my pile of “Whaaaaa … ?” are Gene Wilder, Pauly Shore, and Steven Seagal. Michael Douglas isn’t a far cry from this group. He, too, however, is well cast here because it costs neither the studio nor his career a thing for him to play the doomsday-fearing puppet master.
Ok, so we aren’t quite comic here. I mean, we still are at “the Earth is in jeopardy from a power we never conceived of before” Sure, that bites; why wouldn’t it? But there’s a much lighter air around Ant-Man than weight –of-the-world guys like Batman or Spider-Man or Captain America. And at the end of the day, the picture is a winner not because he’s a hero and yet at the same time, he’s not larger than life. You might even argue he’s just the opposite.
♪Let me tell you how it will be
One two-hundredth scale for me
‘Cause I’m the Ant-Man, yeah, I’m the Ant-Man
Should insect size appear too small
Be thankful I am seen at all
‘Cause I’m the Ant-Man, yeah, I’m the Ant-Man
If you throw a punch, I’ll shrink to floor
If you slam it shut, I run under door
If you use your eyes, I can’t be found
If you stomp your feet, I’m underground
Ant-Man!
‘Cause I’m the Ant-Man, yeah, I’m the Ant-Man♫
Rated PG-13, 117 Minutes
D: Peyton Reed
W: Edgar Wright, Joe Cornish, Adam McKay & Paul Rudd
Genre: Avengers B-team
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Little people, big imagination
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Skeptics
♪ Parody inspired by “Taxman”
