Hong Kong Rom Com. Boy, that’s fun to say, isn’t it? And, hey! Here’s a film that really wants to be fun, so why don’t you let it? Don’t Go Breaking My Heart 2 is the result of what happens when you stick a bunch of romantic movies into a meat grinder, toil away, and see what comes out. People are pretty and smiley and fun and have the integrity of your average cephalopod (wait. Sorry. That might offend cephalopods); the movie doesn’t make a lick of sense and nobody seems to care. And, oh yeah, it forgot to have a bad guy.
Cheung Shen Ran (Louis Koo) runs a brokerage firm, I think. Mostly he plays kissy face with the girls from the brokerage across the street. Both firms in question have clear glass panes that face one-another. Cheung is quite the playboy and would certainly be the villain in a Western film (think Hugh Grant in Bridget Jones), but this film loves him and forgives his incessant philandering. Yang Yangyang (Miriam Chin Wah Yeung) moves in across the street and immediately falls for the lady killer because she has nothing better to do, like running her firm.
As it’s important to introduce pretty faces with rapid pace here, Yangyang hires Chang Zixin (Gao Yuanyuan) – look, I’m not gonna tell you your business, China, but character Yangyang and actress Yuanyuan in the same film? Just sayin’. Zixin here gets hired while being fitted for a wedding dress – so as to establish she connected initially to fiancé QiHong (Daniel Wu) and Cheung as Zixin’s former lover.
Oh and you’ll love this, people who are my father: Zixin gets the job through an aggressive obsequious introduction, highlighted by the fact that Zixin is 100% unqualified for the job she is hired to do. No matter, I don’t think she’s being paid as no terms were ever set.
Breaking Heart 2 has a number of romantic film trappings – old flames, hot bosses, people with powerful jobs and no shortage of free time; it also has a number of quirky potential plot points – a roué whose nose bleeds every time he encounters a woman with a large rack (stay in Hong Kong, 
my friend. In L.A. you could be anemic within hours upon arrival), a dragon lady who can’t parallel park, fun with cross street peek-a-boo, oh and a prognosticating octopus saved from the sushi palace in an exciting and silly chase.
And I would love to have seen any of those possible quirks developed into anything. Ok, so the octopus always picks a loser … gee, that’s kinda fun and helps us get another pretty face into the mix: QiHong’s brother Paul (Vic Chou). And then we do nothing with Nostrodoctopus. Why in a western film, that’s the plot. Heck, I don’t get this film at all – there’s nothing but musical partners here which makes me believe any resolution is ridiculous; none of these characters is capable of real commitment.
At some point you kinda have to hand it to the Chinese for their impressive juxtaposition between the racy and the allowable. In one bedroom (oooooo) scene Cheung dumps a goldfish bowl full of condoms on the blanket for Yang Yangyang Yangyangyangyang Yang Yang yANGyang to pick among (fellas, this might not be the best way to impress your girl in the states, btw). She selects a spicy neon green number and then pulls back the covers to reveal … that she’s tastefully dressed for casual Friday. Geez, what can you show? How about a Victoria’s Secret catalog … is that out of line? Can’t say there’s enough here to recommend to any but those who fell in love with the original Heart Breaking flakes.
♪I was lookin’ for love in all rental spaces
Lookin’ for love forgettin’ social graces
Good thing I didn’t get eyefuls of their maces
Pretty sure it what I deserved
Hopin’ to score with any set of legs
In real life, I probably have dregs
Cuz my approach would have them unnerved♫
Not Rated, 113 Minutes
D: Johnnie To
W: Ryker Chan, Ka-Fai Wai, Xi Yu
Genre: Hong Kong Romcom
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Bachelors & bachelorettes of Hong Kong
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People who don’t pick partners by flipping coins
♪ Parody inspired by “Looking for Love”
