The death of a relationship requires almost as much consent as the birth of one. Huh. I’d never really considered the idea before. And yet … if somebody wants you out of his/her life, that doesn’t happen really without your acceptance … or a court order. You’ll probably cringe for the first half hour of this one. I know I did. Nobody wants to see an unwanted man force his way into somebody’s life.
The as-of-yet childless couple Simon (Jason Bateman) and Robyn (Rebecca Hall) have moved to Los Angeles. Against everybody’s better judgment, they buy a house that seems to be made entirely of windows. This actually kinda drove me crazy. Simon is a movershaker and he heads for the office daily while Robyn plays house for all the hours in between. Having lost a pregnancy the previous year, Robyn desperately wants a child and fills the void with jogging, hanging out in her jogging clothes, showering and jogging some more. And it never occurs to her that drapes might be a nice idea … or, you know, some sort of house security. Ah, don’t worry about it; there aren’t any predators in Southern California.
In between Robyn jogs, Gordo (writer/director Joel Edgerton), a former classmate of Simon’s, shows up bearing gifts. The title of this film is The Gift, but I lost count of the number of gifts Gordo showers upon the couple: first a bottle of wine, then window cleaner, then some beautiful goldfish for the empty koi pond in the front yard, etc., etc. Gifts are awkward. What is the proper response when no gift is desired? Robyn is something of a doormat and Simon is something of an asshole. So it’s not exactly surprising that Simon gets to the “let’s end this” stage about two visits before a normal human might. And the break is painful, especially as Gordo has just admitted marital failure as a result of his own loneliness.
And this is the separation part between cringe and intrigue. What is Gordo gonna do with this information? Does he feel cheated by this brief one-sided friendship? 
Is there something from his high school days with Simon at play here? Why is Jason Bateman an asshole about this? Jason Bateman is never an asshole. A douchebag occasionally, sure, but an asshole? Never. I’m used to him constantly being the guy who has to learn a lesson the hard way because, dammit, he has feelings after all. Well, the next day when the goldfish are dead and the dog is missing, one might tentatively conclude that perhaps relationship is not quite over just yet.
Wait. You’re still not getting drapes or a home alarm?! You’re kidding me, right?
I believe The Gift is the film No Good Deed desperately wanted to be – a psychological study of personal intrusion and not just a low-grade thriller. Home invasion is hardly a new subject in Hollywood, but The Gift had a new-ish take on it. And while I spent Act I and Act II disliking the film, I’ll give it up for Joel twice — for allowing a different kind of Jason Bateman to emerge and the worst game of “Who’d You Rather?” ever.
High school buddies? Not quite, I see
Gordo pushes buttons, exquisitely
Jason is vexed
What happens next?
Simon says Horrible Bosses III
Rated R, 108 Minutes
D: Joel Edgerton
W: Joel Edgerton
Genre: Guess who’s coming to dinner? Now guess why?
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who want to see something different from Jason Bateman
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Bullies
