The biggest problem with politics today is simple: there is only one (1) objective measure of success and that is elections won or lost. In this country, one party has taken that a step further and deluded themselves into believing that such, by itself without any alternative objective measure of anything, represents whether or not the country is doing well – big hint to you folks: nothing good comes of giving more money to the ultra-rich, the climate is actually changing for the worse thanks to stuff we did, and more guns = more deaths. Go ahead and cite all the cherry-picked and made-up facts you want. There’s precious little objective data to refute such.
And with that in mind, David Gordon Green has given us a lesson in cynical politics. “Calamity” Jane Bodine (Sandra Bullock) is a campaign strategy specialist hired to sway an election in Bolivia. Suffering from burnout while pushing American campaign disappointments, Jane is reluctant until she realizes her strategy specialist opponent is Pat Candy (Billy Bob Thornton) and suddenly agrees sight unseen, candidate unknown.
The selective mercenary routine gets more disturbing when we see her horse, former Bolivian president Pedro Castillo (Joaquim de Almeida). Almeida here proves just a touch more likeable here than when he played a druglord enforcer in Clear and Present Danger. Jane doesn’t care; she just wants to stick it to Candy, who, in turn, seems to waver between forced indifference and getting a cheap sexual thrill out of the competition.
How do we get an aloof, elitist, failed ex-president back in the chair? Jane declares, “Our Brand Is Crisis,” proclaiming Bolivia is in a critical stage of development that can only be handled by a proven asshole. You can’t deny the effectiveness; fear generally sells much better than hope. The movie is, essentially, the games Jane and Pat wage to sway the election balance. While these are more-or-less entertaining antics, I’m bugged by an incident early on that inspires the branding: A peasant attacks Castillo with an egg and Castillo punches him out in response. Yes, the reaction is exactly what Jane Bodine and Pedro Castillo need to push branding, but why was it there in the first place? Jane accuses Pat of putting the peasant up to the action, but it makes no sense – at the time, Castillo is down 28 points and running fifth; this is the only action that can get him on the radar screen. Leading the race comfortably and attacking a distant competitor is a Dick Dastardly tactic.
We saw this kind of election manipulation in Wag the Dog; it was handled better there. While I enjoyed the ways in which Jane turned crisis into opportunity, this whole film leaves me empty – I want Castillo to win because Jane wants Castillo to win, but Jane only wants Castillo to win because Pat Candy made her an all-day sucker years ago. She doesn’t care a thing about the actual candidates or elections. Which means, I just want her to defeat her personal nemesis, which, while fun, isn’t a good enough reason to steal a presidential election. Our Brand Is Crisis never really asks, “Who is better for Bolivia?” or whether there is an actual 
crisis looming – such is hinted, but never explained. Instead, it constantly asks, “can American mud-slinging tactics influence foreign elections?” They sure as Hell can.
Our Brand Is Crisis is one of those films you hate the more you think about it. Win-at-all-costs and ends-justify-the-means mentalities need to be discouraged, not vice-versa. I hear often of the liberal bias in the media. If you’re under the delusion that Obama is a worse president than his predecessor, then I have no problem believing that, for you, the media is nothing but liberal bias, as are, well, facts. It is often said that Hollywood is constantly left-leaning, as well. I see a lot of films, and Hollywood does indeed lean left from time-to-time. And then there are films like this one – Our Brand Is Crisis is a cynical hate piece; with every cel it screams, “Politics is a cheap dog-and-pony show, easily manipulated and unceasingly self-serving. It doesn’t matter what you do or what you care about, don’t bother voting.” That’s a message you’ll never get from the left. Never.
No, I don’t care about politics
Getting votes is not how I get my kicks
I just want to be in the stix
You know
Hey, is that my rival there?
May have to go to Bolivi-err
Good Lord, I cannot breathe this air
Up here
Stop! I’m not the bad guy you see
Sure, I act mercenarily
Because I generate sympathy
I’m good
Right?
Rated R, 107 Minutes
D: David Gordon Green
W: Peter Straughan
Genre: Jockeying a dead horse
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Karl Rove
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: [flat New York voice]the down-trodden masses[/flat new York voice]
