Few films offer definitive proof that writing is the most important, and BY FAR the most important, piece of filmmaking. Hence, for whatever vitriol I offer in the next few paragraphs, do know I have a soft spot for By the Sea, a film with otherwise respectable acting, directing, editing, artwork, sets, cinematography, costumes and music, every little bit of which is undermined by the bloated carcass of a screenplay. I’m no forensic detective, but my best guess would put time of death at five minutes past the first time writer/director/assassin Angelina Jolie showed it to somebody else.
By the Sea is a big secret film in the same category as quality films like Chinatown and The Sixth Sense. Big secret films rely a great deal on the reveal, but are made by events preceeding the reveal. The thing about these films is if you know the secret, you probably needn’t rewatch the film, so the secret ought to be good and the prologue needs to be better. Neither of these things is true here. Not by a long shot.
Roland (Brad Pitt) and Vanessa (Angelina Jolie Pitt … “Pitt,” really?) have decided to make the French Riviera their temporary home while Roland writes … or doesn’t. Brad Pitt spent less time behind a keyboard here than I did writing this sentence. It’s the 60s, I think. Pat Nixon is on the cover of magazine. When do you suppose is the last time Pat Nixon granced the cover of something? We can tell both Vanessa and Roland are used to an upscale lifestyle from the Citroen DS Chapon convertible they cruise around the French countryside in. If you couldn’t tell from that, the wardrobes and fact that both of these New Yorkers speak fluent French are fairly good indicators. The couple is miserable. Vanessa is depressed 24/7 and Roland is looking to go pro in the alcoholic scene. A writer who’s a drunk? Gosh, where’d you come up with that one?
The film doesn’t tell us why the couple is miserable; my best guess from the first hour was that Roland had an affair of some kind. The movie withholds this piece of information like a dog trainer withholds a treat until Fido sits properly. The movie suffers. Vanessa is a cur, oh, and Roland is a mean drunk. Gosh, thanks movie. Better be one HELL of a secret, because I can’t stand these guys.
What passes for fun in By the Sea occurs when Vanessa discovers a peep hole to the hotel room next door. Before long, two more pretty people are introduced, newlywed neighbors Lea (Mélanie Laurent) and François (Melvil Poupaud). Vanessa, a former dancer who now “does nothing” – she’s not wrong—whiles away the hours spying on her neighbors. At first, it is just she, then Roland gets involved in the voyeurism. While this does introduce some much needed anything into the couple’s lives, the film actually suffers for it: for one, there’s a good reason voyeurism
is rarely seen on film — nobody respects it. Secondly, it feels like we’re spying on another film, like there’s a good one with sex playing in the theater next door. Is this what we want? Pitt and Jolie spying on two young French people? Don’t we want to spy on Brad and Angelina?
I get the feeling that the Pitts (how fitting) made this movie for themselves as some sort of elaborate cathartic marriage counseling session. I’m not sure how else one explains long bouts of morose expressions and both literal and figurative wandering. By the Sea is listed as a romance, which I guess is also the term you use for a film that is exactly the opposite. Romance? This is a couple that fell out of love years ago but won’t tell the audience why. There’s no good reason to believe that spark will ever rekindle; the best we can hope for is defeated reconciliation. 132 minutes is a long way for defeated reconciliation.
♪Right there beside the sea
Right there in self pity
My partner mopes in bed all day
And watches the folks next door humpin’
Right there, in room 23
She’s there scowling at me
If I could get lit up so high
Then straight to the can
I’d hurl daily♫
Rated R, 132 Minutes
D: Angelina Jolie
W: Angelina Jolie
Genre: The big secret
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People who need Jolie jollies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The active
♪ Parody inspired by “Beyond the Sea”
