An insane movie in a foreign language? Why, this IS a Surprise. Also a Surprise? I’m on my own here.
Lemme preface this: I don’t read other reviews. I don’t want other critics to influence my words. I don’t need anybody else to tell me how I felt about a given film. That said – some reviews need help. IMDB sucks at Chinese films. Just check out the link for Surprise here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5266678/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2. Here’s what I understand after scouring this site – a film named “Surprise” came out this year. At least twenty+ people felt the need to vote on it. Not sure if they’ve seen it. Forget what I understand, here’s what I can guess after reading the site: Surprise may or may not have been written. It may or may not have had clips. It may or may not have produced cels like a normal movie. Some of the cast had names. This is worthless. This is like an imbd page for a home movie.
So what do you do when the screen shows something incomprehensible, but you need to convey what you saw and perhaps bridge your language gap understanding? Well, clearly, you need to read another review to get what you missed.
No such luck here. Not for now at least. So bear with me while I try to describe what I saw.
We’re in medieval China, I think. And there’s a town with demons. I’m guessing “demon” is simply a blanket term for humanoids with random skills and powers. There’s a monkey guy who can fly; he’s good, I think. He wields a big golden stick that is discarded to form a cage around his companions, three other “good” demons. Then he forgets about them. Some monkey friend you are. This is all milked for comic effect, especially as one demon seems 
half-man, half-pig. When a guy shows up with a big piggy snout – good bet that you have a comedy on your hands.
The “hero” -for lack of a better term- is some sort of vegetation demon – he can make flowers grow instantly. Awwwww. And yet, he’s a serious dud with the ladies. Whazzup with that? He hangs around this village mooching off working stiffs when a tiger demon shows up and kicks the towns’ collective ass. Flower dude is not up to the challenge, but real action hero is. Where’s the monkey demon and his friends? Who knows? Much green screen fighting later, flower demon is thrust back into the picture to go quest with the woman he’s already turned off.
Look, this is a magic medieval costume kung fu fantasy comedy. Is it funny? Generally no, but it has some moments. At one point, flower demon is challenged to display what power he has – it seems summoning chrysanthemums from the hair of a coed isn’t the most coveted battle skill. “I can do many things!” He claims, adding, “I can summon Hell Hounds.” And with a mighty effort, flower demon motions the earth and from underneath is brought forth … an adorable white puppy in battle gear. Give it up for adorable puppy.
Mostly, Surprise plays like a weak version one of those Haunted House or Scream parodies – in this case a parody of the fantasy kung fu film. There’s hyperbole and deliberately stupid humor. If the lack of comprehension doesn’t get you, the lack of humor will. Although, to be fair, when this film ended, several audience members applauded. Surprise! — It’s better if you speak Mandarin.
Setting a new low with action kung fu
Can’t tell a single sole in this giant who’s who?
Yeah there’s some magic
And a whole lot of tragic
I’m not very proud of this review
Not Rated, 96 Minutes
D: Xiaoxing Yi
W: ??
Genre: A Chinese Wayans film
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Children who speak Mandarin
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Plot junkies
