One of the can’t miss fail hypocrisies in life is the differences between genders vis-à-vis the one night stand. With men, it continues to be a conquest, a celebration, a justification for self-worth. For women, it ends with a Walk of Shame. Can’t say I’m wild about the title.
Every few years, we get the “endless night” film in which our poor Caucasian hero/heroes/heroine has to brave the worst a big city has to offer. From Adventures in Babysitting to Date Night, this is a time-honored way of warning us that once night falls, everything is The Purge. The ones I cited are comedies, which tend to fare better because the others reek of paranoia.
Meghan (Elizabeth Banks) is a small-time Los Angeles news anchor looking to land a bigger deal. She comes off as fairly stiff for my tastes, and I’m glad the film calls her on it when she finds herself the following morning in your friendly neighborhood crack house. But I’m jumping the gun. Meghan is a “nice girl,” which is a euphemism for “she don’t know how to have fun.” And she kinda don’t. After being told the anchor job has gone to a rival, she lets herself get talked into a night of drunken debauchery (gosh, how original), swapping her conservative look for a “come get some” yellow hip warmer. I’m sorry, but I had the exact same conclusion the film has — if I saw this woman by herself on the street after hours in a seedy part of town, hell yes I’d figure she were a hooker.
So, you see where this is going, right? The object is, in the most plausible way possible, to get Lemon Lizzie and her come-hither duds alone, away from civilization and without means, after hours. Enter drunkenness and then Gordon (James Marsden, who plays 
amiable about as well as anybody. Lord knows, I never want him to headline, but there are many worse supporting friends out there). They go home together yadda yadda yadda Meghan alone and uneasy in seedy El Lay.
Is it plausible? Not in the least. From the purse abandonment to phone abandonment to the failure to return to the guy’s apartment to the crack dealing?! And Hassidic hate crime?! Well, there’s just a ton of fudging going on here, isn’t there? There are 24-hour crack dealers? Who needs crack at sunrise? No. Don’t answer that. This really is one of those — you just have to roll with your heroine. If you like her, it’s ok. If you don’t, it’s bottom-10 bad. I liked Meghan; I loved the dress. I cannot guarantee the same results for you.
♪When I was drunk
I could have scored with anyone
And bathroom trips were just no fun
Hey, where’s my car?
Out on the street
With only heels on my feet
The filth is everywhere replete
Please get me out!
All by myself
Don’t want to act, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Not with this script, all by myself anymore♫
Rated R, 95 Minutes
D: Steven Brill
W: Steven Brill
Genre: Night of suck
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: “When it rains, it pours” types
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Actual prostitutes
♪ Parody inspired by “All by Myself”
