Ah, what girl doesn’t remember the day she first jumps over a building? It’s an exciting one to be sure. To be fair, it starts with a simple leap of a 20-foot sunflower; Hong-ee (Go-eun Kim) waits a full ten minutes before building play happens. And then, she’s kind of a dick in the marketplace. That’s the conversation that followed:
“Mrs. Ee? Mrs. Ee?! Yes, you. There was a masked woman who ate all my dates and overturned my filth cart this morning at maket; I’m pretty sure that was your girl, Hong.”
“How can you be sure? You said she was masked.”
“Um, I dunno, maybe the fact that she jumped into a freaking tree afterwards. That was kind of a clue.”
The frivolous Hong-ee proceeds to skip stones, break curfew and humiliate warriors all in good fun until she finally comes home to mom and we’re reminded that movies have plots.
Memories of the Sword takes us back a generation to a time of struggle and conquest where we meet the three greatest warriors of the age: Deok-gi (Byung-hun Lee), Seol-rang (Do-yeon Jeon), and Poong-chun (Soo-bin Bae). And wouldn’t you know it? Each one of these slayin’ fools has a legendary sword — The first one smites all enemies, the second one creates justice for the realm and the third … I think it cleaves Double Stuff Oreos back the original form. Forgive me, I didn’t get the press junket.
After all the enemies have been slain, Deok-gi and Seol-rang betray Poong-chun. Those jerks. What’d you guys fight for, anyway? Poong and Mrs. Poong are killed on the spot while their baby, Hong-ee, remember her? Is simply scarred. Why did you kill the parents and leave the baby alive? What sense does that make?
Back in normal time, Hong-ee’s “mom” is Seol-rang and she reminds Hong-ee that her enemies, herself and Deok-gi, have now marked her. Yeah, I suppose you can’t really forget the day you jump over a house and later that evening you find 
out you have to kill mom.
All of this happens in the first twenty minutes, which would be great if the film were thirty to forty minutes long. It isn’t. This giveaway is far too early. Memories compensates with irrelevant political struggle for the next hour or two. This is a good time for a nap; if you pick it up again with the last twenty minutes or so to go, you’re golden.
Memories of the Sword has two full Kill Bill sequences – the part where Uma Thurman goes to town on the Crazy 88s and the part where she is trained by the ancient master. Both of these are done better, and much better at that, in Kill Bill. I’d give Tarantino more credit, but you know he just lifted that stuff from Asia in the first place. The bouncing off buildings and plant life will remind one a great deal of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon – when did we decide all martial arts masters could fly? It was done better there as well. The plot is the key here; the parts essential to Hong-ee and only Hong-ee had the potential for making a great and very moving film. As presented, however, Memories was a derivative failure.
♪Mem’ries
Fighting combat in my mind
Misty crimson-colored mem’ries
Of the way we slew
Scattered bodies,
On the fields we left behind
Limbs we took from one another
For the way we slew
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Gutting armies line by line?
If we had a chance to kill ‘em all again
Tell me, would we? Should we?
Mem’ries, of aggression, you can bet
What caused us to dismember
We probably don’t regret
So it’s the anguish
That lets us languish
Whenever we distinguish
The way we slew♫
Not Rated, 121 Minutes
D: Heung-Sik Park
W: Ah-reum Choi, Heung-Sik Park
Genre: The pointy sins of the past
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Korean historians
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: “Seen it”
♪ Parody inspired by “The Way We Were”
