You can see a day into the future. One day. One spot. How do you maximize your happiness out of this? Hmmm, I’m not sure. I do know several ways NOT to maximize your happiness, one big one being: “do not let the local dog track bookie in on your secret.” I know it seems like common sense, yet this trio of idiots managed to do exactly that. Of all the lapses in this film, time probably turned out to be the least of ‘em.
Callie (Danielle Panabaker), Finn (Matt O’Leary) and Jasper (George Finn – wait, the guy with the name “Finn” is not playing Finn? That’s almost deliberately confusing, isn’t it?) are the three least observant folks on the planet. Custodians in their little “Melrose Place” setting, none of the trio has noticed that the neighbor has had a basketball-sized lens pointed at their living room for about a month. It takes a Polaroid a day showing the future of the apartment across the path. Of course, this got me to thinking, “Do people still use Polaroids?”
Finn and Callie are a couple for lack of imagination. The thrill has been gone for ages while Finn nurses his desire to be an artist. What’s worse than a bad artist? One who produces nothing. He’s excited about being able to glimpse the future because he can now plagiarize his own work. Couch jockey Jasper uses the advance notice to score the dog track results. Seriously. He can make a fortune gambling and chooses phoning in dog track bets. “I’m sorry, sir, you don’t deserve this gift; you have no idea how to wield this magnificent power.” All the things you can do with advanced knowledge and you choose phoning in dog track bets, not even going to the track, or betting directly. Callie? She just wants Finn to revert to steaming pile of love form.
And at some point, the three have to recognize that somebody is gonna come looking for the inventor of the time travel device. You don’t just “get free glimpses at the future.” That’s not right. Weirdest part about Time Lapse is how the trio become slaves to their future. Jasper insists, “you don’t f*** with time travel” and therefore the three have to recreate their exact 8 p.m. positions as per the photographs
instead of trusting that time would take care of itself. This is enhanced by the idea that time travel inventor and peeping Tom neighbor Mr. Bezzerides (John Rhys-Davies) has been found dead. So if you can picture this, so-to-speak, the three get a Polaroid glimpsing their future selves, live a painfully awkward day taking advantage of the future and then go to great lengths to pose for the exact same photograph they found the previous day so time won’t be mad at them or something.
The worst part of Time Lapse is the scale. For people who have access to the future, neither they, nor the camera, ever leaves the apartment complex. Pretty sure writer/director Bradley King stole this technique straight from the Duplass brothers’ book on “how to make a sci-fi movie for $7.38.” As a result, the action is not great, but the surprise ending … isn’t great, either. (But it was better than the stuff before it.)
♪Time is on the next slide, yes it is
Time, we must abide, what I says
Now you always bet
On race number three
But you’ll be vetting clocks (you heard it right)
You’ll be dreading knocks (when bookies come)
You’ll be getting pox (ran out of rhymes, baby) from me♫
Not Rated, 104 Minutes
D: Bradley King
W: Bradley King, Bp Cooper (“Hi, Bp. My name is ‘Jm’ ”)
Genre: Time travel on the cheap
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Bookies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Extroverts
♪ Parody inspired by “Time Is on My Side”
